What His Texts Really Mean
Sometimes it is hard to tell whether someone likes you or not. This article will help you figure out when a guy isn’t interested in you, based on how he texts. Of course, all rules have exceptions, and some people are just bad at texting. Be careful not to jump to conclusions too quickly or overanalyze things.
Generally, men are not into double meanings and tend to communicate in a straightforward way. Other ways of communicating, especially face-to-face, will give you a stronger grasp on the situation, so remember to also look for other indications outside of texting, such as body language. However, if texts are all you have to go on, don’t worry: even these brief messages contain lots of clues.
The following is a list of signs you can use to determine if he leans more toward liking you . . . or not being interested at all. I’ve divided them into three categories:
- Totally Not Interested
- Friend Zone
- Booty Call
Totally Not Interested
If these signs describe your communication with a guy you like, you’d be better off moving on and finding someone else who better appreciates your interest. These signs indicate a guy who either is completely uninterested in you in any way, or who is just a complete asshole who doesn’t care if he acts inconsiderate. Either way, you deserve better.
- He never responds to anything you ever send him.
- There is absolutely no interaction. Zero interaction means zero things are happening. There’s no momentum. That doesn’t mean you should send hateful or aggressive messages, because negativity is worse than zero.
- He regularly takes 24 hours (or longer) to reply. It’s okay to wait a couple of hours or so because we all have busy days or, if it was late and he went to bed, the next morning. But if there’s no response, it might not mean he hates you, but you might not be a priority of any kind.
- He only texts you about business matters or school matters.
- His texts are colorless. There’s no joking, no flirting, nothing. They sound boring and typical.
- He never texts you anything unnecessary or random. If his text has a reasonable context, then it isn’t necessarily an excuse to get in touch.
- He’ll avoid even the most minute personal details about himself. He won’t tell you about his job, though most guys love to talk about their job.
- He texts you only for homework answers.
- None of his texts inquire into your well-being. There will be no message asking how are you, if you had a good morning, or if you did well on a test.
- He never invites you to anything through texting.
- When he cancels, he doesn’t bother to give you a reason.
- He doesn’t care that you are sick.
- He doesn’t text more than once every three months. Generally, I would say more than once a month, but there are some exceptions. Such as, if he suddenly starts talking to you out of nowhere and you never see him, he probably has an interest in you. He may be so far removed from your daily life that texting too often may come off too random
- He consistently only sends one-word responses when context would require a longer response. This may mean he reads your messages but doesn’t care to write as much. You may want to try calling him or another mode of communication in case this is just a texting problem.
- There is no emotion to the texts. No smileys. No emojis. No exclamation marks. Nothing. He never congratulates you on anything.
- He doesn’t seem to know who you are. He may ask, “Who is this?”
- He asks you to stop texting him or to leave him alone; he is too busy. If he asks you to stop texting, it means you are texting too much and he can’t handle it and it may be getting in the way of things he wants to do for himself whether job related or social networking.
- Everything he sends to you is mean, hurtful, and rude. He clearly wants to get rid of you.
- He consistently uses the wrong name for you.
- If he refers to you as a “bitch,” he most likely isn’t interested in you in a good way . . . or at all.
Sometimes a guy really likes you as a friend, but is uncomfortable with the idea of being more. There are lots of possible reasons for this. Maybe he likes someone else, he’s gay, or he just doesn’t see you that way. If this is the case, my advice is, again, to try to find somebody else. You could even enlist his help.
After all, since he likes you as a friend he’d probably love to set you up with one of his guy friends. Anyway, the following are signs that he respects and admires you as a friend, but isn’t looking for anything more.
- His texts are more like what he would send to his guy friends, like scratching his balls, farting, and talking about beer. No guy would resort to this unless he is inept or does not care to impress you at all.
- He refers to you more frequently as “buddy” or “bro.” The qualifiers he uses to define you should be self-explanatory. Guys don’t generally use the word “buddy” if they see you as romantic potential, unless this guy is losing it and really likes you and has no idea what to say anymore.
- If you receive a text from one of his friends and that friend says that your interest gave him that phone number . . . your interest probably doesn’t like you, but his friend does.
- If he cancels on you, don’t immediately jump to conclusions. See if he would like to visit with you some other time and try to reschedule. Try to see what are the reasons why he canceled. Guys, unfortunately, cancel a lot but that doesn’t mean they are not interested in you. There could be a number of reasons they have to cancel, so don’t sweat it too much.
- He asks for advice on another woman. This screams he sees you primarily as a friend.
- He tells you that his friends are free to hang out with you instead. This means that he may enjoy your company, but if he is passing you off to his friends this may mean the guy is more interested in seeing somebody else and he doesn’t want to give the wrong impression. He likes you enough that he’d want you to mix in with his group of friends, which is a compliment. And you may find someone who is more in synch with you from the friend group.
- You see him write lengthy text messages but you never receive any. Clearly, he has the capacity to do so, and can be heartfelt, but just isn’t to you.
- If he seems to be mainly interested in men, he might be your gay best friend. But remember, bisexuality exists! Don’t make assumptions.
- When you make a flirty pass, he doesn’t respond by being flirty or enthusiastic; instead, he keeps it strictly friendly. Worse, he says you are being weird. That may mean he doesn’t get it or like what you are saying. He isn’t connecting.
- He uses the word “platonic” in reference to you.
- Guys don’t usually pour out all their feelings in text form. If he does, he may have some interest in you beyond friendship.
If you really like a guy and he only sees you as a booty call, it’s better to know sooner rather than later so you don’t get too attached. If you want an emotional, committed relationship but he only wants sex, you should probably keep your distance to protect your feelings. The following are signs that he is only interested in a casual or physical relationship.
- He only texts you between the hours of 12:00am-5:00am.
- He has a girlfriend, is in a relationship of some kind, or is married. You do not want someone who is willing to flirt around while they are in a relationship; this has bad indications that he would do the same to you if in a relationship, so just look right past him. There’s other great guys out there, just wait.
- He only texts you pictures of his body, especially his chest or “dick pics.”
- If you see an “I love you” text to someone else on his phone, beware that he may be cheating or is about to cheat.
- He accidentally texts you information that was meant for another woman.
- You out-text him by a large percent, such as 80%. When texting, the communication should appear fairly even from text to text. At least, there shouldn’t be a noticeable one-sided texter. You may occasionally double text, especially if he does this himself, and generally if the messages are related. Do not over-text. It’s overwhelming and comes off as needy.
- He never apologizes if he is late to respond. He never apologizes, period. If he has never used the phrase “I’m sorry” when doing something hurtful, it’s because he isn’t emotionally involved enough to care and he has too big of an ego.
- If he sends you texts being upset about the cleanliness of his home, he probably is just annoyed with how you left his house (unless he’s your roommate of course.)
- If he only sends you mass texts it probably means he wants to socialize and party. And you are invited!
- Avoid putting too much expectation on the whole situation because that may intimidate the guy away from you.
- If he suddenly stops texting you, be cautious. He may be busy, but he may have also found interest in someone else.
- If he regularly cleans out his text messages from you, that may mean he has no attachment.
- If he demands certain services of you such as backrubs, sandwiches, and other odd things this may mean he likes you or sees you as his maid. You can playfully joke back with him or tell him off; how he responds here is key.
- If he says you are similar to one of his exes, be wary. This may mean he automatically doesn’t like you. It can also mean that you are his type…or that you are close enough to his ex that it is like dating her anyway.