Nearly everyone will, unfortunately, experience the agonizing pain of heartbreak at some point in their life. The feeling that someone you love has left your side hurts a lot, so much so that you can probably physically feel the pain, hence the term ‘heart break’ – it genuinely feels like your heart breaks in two! Although right now it might feel like your heart will never heal, or you’ll never love someone quite so deeply again, don’t worry, you can move on and be even happier than you have ever been before.
It’s not easy dealing with a breaking heart and it’s even harder to come out the other side a happier person, and it will take time, as well as all of the determination and strength you have, but it’s more than possible. This is exactly why I’ve written this article – to share the best ways you can to deal with a heartbreak and move on a happier woman. So, let’s dive right in and see if we can start putting the pieces of your heart back together as soon as possible.
1. Allow yourself to fully feel whatever it is you’re feeling.
The typical image that we all associate with someone dealing with heartbreak is someone sitting on their sofa, eating tubs of ice cream whilst shouting and crying at the TV when love scenes come on. Now, although this doesn’t sound very productive in terms of moving on and being happy, this stage of heartbreak is actually one of the most important. You need to allow yourself to feel whatever is coming up. So, if you feel like you need to wrap yourself in your duvet and stay there for the entire day feeling sorry for yourself, do it.
You shouldn’t try to suppress any emotions that are coming through, instead, embrace them. If you push away your emotions and try to carry on like everything in the world is fine, your emotions are only just going to appear at another time. So, make sure you take time for yourself and let all of your emotions flow out. It’s no secret that we all feel better after a cry, so allow yourself to cry. You’ll feel refreshed after purging all of these emotions.
2. Get closure.
One of the biggest things you need to do when dealing with a breakup and heartbreak is to get closure. This is one of the most important points, yet it always gets overlooked and is probably the reason people feel so hung up on their ex’s for such a long time after the relationship comes to an end. In order to move on, you first need to find closure with the relationship ending and the person you love leaving your life.
There are so many ways you can find closure, and it completely depends on the individual how you find this closure. Most people feel like they need to tell their ex how they feel in order to gain closure, so you could write your ex a letter or email explaining how you feel or speak to them at length about the relationship. If you don’t want to speak to them, you could always write a letter, but instead of sending it to them, burn it, so everything you wrote gets released.
3. Think about why the relationship ended.
Every relationship comes to an end for a reason, and it’s really useful to figure out why the relationship ended so you can move forward feeling more at peace with the breakup. Were you losing sight of personal goals in the relationship? Did your partner cheat on you? Think about the reasoning behind the relationship ending and look at it as a lesson.
This will definitely make you feel better about the heartbreak because, in fact, you’re moving onto much happier, better things. You might also find it useful to look back at the relationship and see what you appreciated and what you disliked, so you know what you’re looking for in any new relationships you get into.
4. Don’t try to get back at your ex for hurting you.
As tempting as it is to retaliate after someone hurts you, and especially when someone breaks your heart, do not try to get back at your ex, in any way. You might want to take revenge or try and make your ex feel what you’re feeling, but let it go and realize that you’re worth so much more and you’re so much better than doing anything like that. If you try to scheme or plot against your ex, all you’re doing is keeping the relationship open between the two of you, when you need to completely cut any ties you have in order to move on properly.
5. Cut all communication with them.
Cutting communication with the person that caused your heart to break is definitely a must. Your heart will not be able to heal if you’re still in contact with the person who’s broken it. So once you’ve found your closure with your ex and exchanged each other’s items, it’s time to block their number, as well as unfriend them or block them on social media.
6. Remove everything from your life that reminds you of them.
Anything that reminds you of your ex needs to go. You don’t only need to be away from the person that broke your heart, but also away from anything that reminds you of them. So although you might think you want to have your cute couples photos stored on your phone, get rid of them. If you have anything in your home that your ex gave to you, you could always donate it so you know it will bring someone else joy.
7. Stay away from harmful substances (including alcohol).
Unfortunately, a lot of people turn to alcohol or drugs when having their heartbroken and although using these kinds of substances gives you a short-lived high, you will inevitably feel worse than ever before after the buzz wears off. If you can, stick to forging a healthy, new lifestyle for yourself and stay away from looking for short-lived happiness in dangerous substances.
8. Burn some calories.
One of the most productive things you can do when going through a breakup is getting a sweat on. Although it sounds kind of cliche, working out will not only make you feel good and look good, but it will also allow your mind to release negative emotions in a different way and increase the number of positive emotions you’re feeling.
If you’re feeling particularly angry or upset, exercise is also a great way to channel this energy. For example, if you’re feeling frustrated and angry, try taking a kickboxing class – it will do wonders for the healing process (and it always a bonus having a good looking instructor to make you feel better).
9. Surround yourself with loved ones.
Heartbreak is tough to conquer, and therefore you shouldn’t try to conquer it alone. Make sure you are surrounded by people who care about you, both family and friends. Your loved ones only want the best for you, and so they will listen to you, take care of you and show you affection and unconditional love, even when you feel broken.
10. Treat yourself.
When you’re feeling down, it’s important to do things that make you feel happy. So, this is the perfect time to treat yourself a little bit! Whether you want to take yourself out for some retail therapy or you’re looking forward to a spa day with your girlfriends, treat yourself and do what makes you happy. Don’t wait around for someone else to make you happy – treat yourself like a Queen.
11. Practice daily self-care.
You need to work at getting through heartbreak every single day because it’s not as easy as it sounds. That’s why every day you need to practice self-care, and you need to work on loving yourself a little more every day too. So, have a think about what makes you feel good and that you have the power to make yourself happier.
For example, if you love a certain face cream, go and buy it and use it every day. If you feel great after cooking a meal, doing yoga, or going for a walk, make sure you incorporate this into your daily routine. Make sure you do one thing every day that makes you happy.
12. Take up a new hobby.
One of the easiest ways to stop thinking about someone is to occupy your mind with something else. Therefore, take up a new hobby! Is there anything you’ve always wanted to try? Or perhaps you want to work towards setting up your own business? Whatever you want to try, do it! By doing something you actually want to do, your mind won’t be hung up on your pain. Instead, it’ll be too busy thinking how much fun you’re having.
13. Meet new people.
It’s important to note that I’m not advising moving on in a romantic sense with someone else straight away, but what I do advise is going out and meeting new people. Meeting new people will not only be exciting for you and will open up your eyes to different lifestyles, but it’ll also help you regain your trust in people if your ex destroyed trust for you.
14. Figure out what you want from life.
This sounds like a big task, but it doesn’t have to be daunting. After you’ve ended a relationship with someone, it’s the perfect time to figure out what you actually want from life, what your goals are, and where you’d like to be heading. You have time without any of the distractions that come with being in a relationship to focus purely and selfishly on what you want from your life, so take this opportunity to reinvent your life and plan ahead.
Although you probably won’t be ready to move on, there’s nothing wrong with a little bit of harmless flirting. In fact, when you’re heartbroken you sometimes feel unlovable, unwanted, and definitely not sexy. Having a flirt with someone will remind you that you’re one beautiful woman. Obviously, you don’t need a man to tell you how incredible you are, but sometimes, especially after a breakup, it feels damn good!
16. Be open to love.
When you have a broken heart, you’ll feel like there’s no way you’ll ever find that kind of love again, or you might feel like you’ll never be able to trust anyone ever again. It’s essential to moving on that you allow yourself to be open to the idea of love and falling in love with someone new.
17. Keep a check on your emotions.
It’s vital that when you’re dealing with heartbreak, you try to keep a check on your emotions as much as you can. Some people slip into depression and need to speak to someone professional to move forward and be happy, so try to monitor how you’re feeling and reach out and speak to someone if you need to.
Various scientific studies have shown that heartbreak can hurt so much because the brain actually feels this emotional pain the same way it feels physical pain. It hurts because you’re losing someone you love, someone who is important to you and that you have made memories with.
The time it takes to heal a broken heart is personal, but typically it will take anywhere between 3-6 months to feel more at peace with the breakup and happier alone. However, it can take many months or even years to fully heal if the healing process isn’t done right.
Hopefully, these 17 tips in this article will help you heal your heart and move forward in a more positive way. However, it’s tough and I really feel for you. Make sure you look after yourself, surround yourself with loved ones, and know that the feelings will pass.
Technically, you can die of a broken heart, but it’s extremely rare and is normally triggered after someone you love dies or a traumatic event. The syndrome is called Taktsubo Cardiomyopathy, and it’s not the type of pain felt after a breakup.
Both people in the situation normally hurt after a breakup, and breakups can actually sometimes be even more difficult on the person that chose to bring the relationship to an end. All pain and heartbreak are valid, regardless of which side it’s from.
I really hope this article will help you with trying to move forward more positively through a breakup and work through the painfulness of feeling broken-hearted. Never give up on love and stay strong.
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