Do you keep dreaming about your ex?
Are you wondering what this means?
Perhaps you’re looking for guidance on how to react in real life?
If so, read on. Our guide reveals what these dreams could mean and suggests what you should do as a result of having them.
But, before we get into that, I want to tell you about this incredible new online background check tool.
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We’re not necessarily saying it’s always a great idea to catch up with your ex, either to his face or behind his back.
Our guide below will help you decide how you should react to having these dreams about him.
First, think about
what is happening with your ex in these dreams.
Contents
What your dream means
depends on what’s happening in your dream, especially when it comes to dreaming
of your ex. What you need to do is pick apart the dream. Of course, you dreamt
of your ex, but what happened between the two of you in the dream?
You will benefit from
recording your dreams. The best way to record your dreams is to have a dream
journal at the side of your bed so that when you wake up after the dream, you
can immediately write down what happened. The majority of us will remember
significant dreams but will usually forget what happened in them after several
minutes of waking up.
So, grab yourself a
notebook, and start to journal about your dreams. Then, once you have realized
what happened in the dream, we can break down the meaning of it better.
1. If you dreamt that you had sex with your ex…
The most obvious
meaning could be that you miss having sex with your ex. Maybe your sex together
was out of this world, and you’re just feeling nostalgic about it. This can be
really common is the relationship didn’t end on bad terms, or the relationship
was never toxic. In this situation, there doesn’t need to be any bad feelings
about this. My advice would be to just enjoy the dream and move on.
However, if your relationship was toxic or ended severely, dreaming about having sex with this person could mean that you are finally coming to peace with your relationship. It might be showing you, that through this intimate act, you have forgiven them for whatever they did to you. It’s beneficial to ask yourself how you feel about this person after the dream. Do you feel better? If so, your dream has probably made this possible for you.
It’s important to say
that even if you are in a new relationship, sex dreams about your ex can
happen. If you have this dream once in a while, there is no reason to worry or
feel like you’re unfaithful.
However, if these
dreams are a common occurrence, it could be a red flag. Your mind might be
going back to your previous relationship for reasons like the sex was more pleasurable
with that person. This might mean you need to start questioning if your current
relationship is satisfying you.
![](https://hernorm.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/If-you-dreamt-that-you-had-sex-with-your-ex….jpg)
2. If you dreamt about getting back with your ex…
Of course, this could
be taken literally if you actually do miss them and you want to get back with
your ex. If this is the case and you have recognized it, this will be something
you need to work on before you can move forward.
If you are
continuously having thoughts and dreams about your ex, this can be detrimental
to moving on with your life and opening yourself to love. It might be
beneficial for you to seek counseling.
However, if you have
absolutely no desire to go back to your ex in your waking life, then this dream
will actually be representing something much more meaningful about you and your
life moving forward.
It could mean that you are going through a significant change in your current relationship or your life. It will be showing you how far you have come since you were with this previous partner. It actually might feel therapeutic to reflect on how much you have changed, or your life may have improved since you were with this person.
3. If you dreamt that
your ex is breaking up with you…
This can mean two very
different things depending on how recently you broke up with that person.
Firstly, if you have
recently broken up with that person, you will probably be replaying this in
your head because you are still holding on to it. It will be trauma that your
mind is still hanging on to.
It might replay in
your dreams in many different ways, perhaps how you would have liked it to go
or what you wish you had said at that moment. You need to work on letting this
go, or these dreams will keep haunting your sleep.
However, if you have
been broken up with your ex for a while and you would confidently say that you
are over it, then this will symbolize something completely different. It might
represent something in your waking life that you feel is breaking up with you
or leaving you. For example, have you been turned down for a job or has your
best friend just moved to a different city?
Anything like this can
bring up memories of when you were breaking up with an ex because it can hurt
similarly.
4. If you dreamt that
you were fighting with your ex…
This could be less
about your ex, but more about a conflict that you are facing yourself. This can
firstly mean that you do not love yourself enough – in the dream you are quite
literally having to fight for yourself and defend yourself.
This could be a big
reminder that you need to be kinder to yourself and love yourself more. When
was the last time you took yourself on a date or said something kind to
yourself? This dream can encourage you to indulge in some self-love.
If you’re already a
self-love expert, then this dream could have another meaning. In this case, it
could be representative of conflict happening in your waking life.
It’s essential to
think about what is happening for you at the moment. There will most likely be
a situation or a person who is boiling your blood in real life and will,
therefore, be bringing out similar feelings to those you have experienced in
the dream.
![](https://hernorm.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/If-you-dreamt-that-you-were-fighting-with-your-ex….jpg)
5. If you dreamt that
your ex is with someone else…
As heart-wrenching as
this can be, especially if the relationship ended recently, this can be a
perfect sign that you are moving on.
It shows you that you
are coming to peace with the fact that your ex is moving on, and so should you.
You will have grown away from your past, and it can show that you will have
learned lessons from that relationship.
This type of dream
about our ex can come up at any time, and even if you think that you were
already over them, there might have been some unresolved feelings. So, don’t be
surprised if you broke up with your ex and moved on years ago, this dream might
still come up out of nowhere.
It’s vital that when
you wake up from the dream, you assess how you are feeling. If you think that
you have finally let go of any bad feelings and you’ve forgiven them, this is
special and signals how you are fully ready to move on.
It also shows that you
acknowledge your ex will move on with someone else, and you can do the same.
6. If you dreamt that
you were missing your ex…
If you are single,
this can mean that you are missing something in your life. It doesn’t
necessarily mean that you miss your relationship with that specific individual.
You are quite merely feeling a void in your life that your ex in this dream is
representing.
In this sense, it
doesn’t have to mean that you are just missing a romantic relationship; it
could be representing any situation in which you feel like you are missing out.
You could feel like you’re not getting enough support or time from your
friends, or even that you aren’t getting enough praise in your job. It shows
that you need to have something to ”fill you up”.
If you are in a
relationship, this kind of dream can be an essential representative of what is
lacking in your relationship. Perhaps you are missing intimacy in your
relationship, or quite simply you just feel that you haven’t been spending
enough time together.
It might be useful to
have a good look at your relationship and see what you think is missing because
clearly, your subconscious is telling you that something important is missing.
7. If you dreamt that
you and your ex had children…
Of course, possibly
you and your ex do have children together, but if you do not, then this can be
a particularly terrifying dream. However, it’s not actually about children or
wanting to procreate with this person.
The reason for this
dream could be the fact that your creativity is linked with your ex-partner.
So, the children are representing your creativity and your ideas, not actual
children, so don’t panic!
If you associate your
creativity with them, or the life you had when you were together with them,
then this dream could show up when you have just started a business, pitched a
new project to work colleagues or decided to change your profession.
Therefore, you can
feel happy that you have had this dream because it means that the creative
person in you has been triggered and your subconscious can’t wait to release
it.
Of course, you will
associate creativity with yourself soon and won’t have dreams about your ex,
but it’s not a big deal that they are associated with it now. It’s a really
positive dream. It’s the birth of your ideas.
8. If you dreamt that
you saw a really old ex…
If you dreamt about
seeing or talking to someone in a dream who was not a recent ex and merely
someone you kissed or flirted with years ago, this could be a representation
that you miss how you were feeling at that time in your life.
So, if you are
confused as to why you had a random dream about a crush you had when you were
16 years old, it could be because you miss how you felt at this time. Did you
feel like you had a lot of freedom or happiness at the time? Do you miss the
feeling of being young and carefree? This could be in the relationship you
shared with this ex, or in general about at that time in your life.
Think deeply about how
you felt when you had a connection with this person. Whatever you felt at that
time seems to be missing in your life now.
So, this might suggest
that you are feeling trapped or unhappy in your life or relationship at the
moment. If this rings true to you, there are steps you can take to feel happier
in your relationship or life.
![](https://hernorm.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/If-you-dreamt-that-you-saw-a-really-old-ex….jpg)
9. If you dreamt that
your ex was kind to you…
If you dreamt about
meeting your ex and they were exceptionally kind to you, this can seem like a
really nice dream. Everything went smoothly and surely that’s a good
thing.
It certainly is a
positive thing in one respect. It can be symbolic of the fact that there are no
bad feelings between both of you. If the relationship ended badly, this type of
dream could be particularly soothing. It shows that whatever damage that you
both did to each other, now it is all ok.
My advice would be
that even though it might seem like a great idea to get in touch and tell them
you want to remain friends now it’s all blown over with you, it is probably not
a good idea to get in touch with them. Just because they seemed so kind in your
dream, they might not have come to the same kind of awakening, and they might
still feel anger or unresolved feelings towards you. Getting in contact with
them could ruin the closure that you have just experienced through the dream.
There could also be
another meaning behind this dream, and it could be that you miss certain
qualities about them. Perhaps your ex was extremely kind, or fun. Maybe you miss
these qualities in your life or your current partner. It could be a sign that
you need to start allowing some more joy or kindness into your life now.
10. If you dreamt
about your ex dying or that you were killing your ex…
Now, this one does
sound a little psychopathic but rest assured this is a widespread dream and its
nothing to get worried about. In the dream, either your ex can die, or you can
be killing them. Both of these dreams will have the same meaning, but if you
kill them in the relationship, it shows that you have taken charge of the
situation.
So, first things
first, hopefully, you don’t actually want to kill your ex. This is surprisingly
actually a really positive dream, even though you might wake up feeling
slightly terrified at what your subconscious mind has conjured up.
It’s a symbolic way of
showing that you have taken power into your own hands and decided to cut ties
with your ex, and any anger or upset that might have been associated with them.
By killing these negative feelings that you associated with this person, it
allows you to move forward in a more precise way. It is a form of healing
yourself.
If you have felt like
your previous relationship damaged you in some way, you can now go forward into
the world of love with a clean slate. You will be holding no negative feelings
going forward.
11. If you dreamt that
your ex is killing you…
Once again, this one
is scary, and not precisely what you will want to be dreaming about. The
meaning of this dream is distinctively different from the dream mentioned
above, where you are killing your ex, or they die. If you dream that your ex is
trying to kill you, this can represent that they killed off something inside
you while you were breaking up.
To decipher what they killed in you, you need to think about what hurt the most in the breakup and what has stayed with you. Maybe they murdered your self-confidence from putting you down so much? Perhaps they killed your trust because they cheated on you?
If you can figure out
what part of you they killed off, you can then decide that this is what the
dream was representing for you. After you have found out what they killed off
in you, you can start moving forward and working on whatever it is that they
destroyed.
So, you can see this
dream as a positive one. It is sparking healing within you and encourage you to
work on yourself.
12. If you dreamt that
you were living with your ex…
If you have a dream
where you and your ex-partner are living together, in a relationship, this can
be seen as your subconscious warning you that you are making the same mistakes
in your life as you did when you were with them.
It could also signal
that in your waking life, you are experiencing someone or something that is
making you feel how your ex did when they left, or when things got bad –
unhappy and anxious.
To move forward after
having this dream, it’s a good idea to have a good look at what is happening in
your life for you at the moment. You could be experiencing problems within your
current relationship, or with friends and family. The quicker you can address
this issue, the faster you can resolve it. Therefore, these strange dreams of
being back with your ex will hopefully disappear.
![](https://hernorm.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/If-you-dreamt-that-you-were-living-with-your-ex….jpg)
13. If you
dreamt that your abusive ex was beating you up…
This dream usually
will only apply if you were in a physically abusive relationship. However, it
can also be a physical representation of a mentally abusive relationship too.
If you are dreaming
that you are still getting beaten up by your ex, this can be a sign of PTSD
from carrying the trauma with you. It can take people that have been in abusive
relationships years and years to recover. The best thing to do is to seek
professional help through a therapist or counselor. However, even after this kind
of support, these reminders and dreams can still exist.
However, you have to
realize that even though you have left an abusive relationship and the person
who was abusing you, you are now the one beating yourself up
psychologically.
You need to understand
that although after leaving an abusive relationship, there are bound to be hard
times and it will take a lot to recover, you do not deserve this. If these
dreams are becoming more frequent, or you find they are consistently showing up
while you sleep, I would advise to talk it through with a professional.
14. If you dreamt that
your ex was rejecting you…
This type of dream can
be particularly emotionally stressful, especially if the break up was recent
between the two of you. However, this dream can be interpreted in a positive
manner that can help you to move forward.
Firstly, there are two
very separate parts of this dream.
The first part is the
fact that in the dream you are telling your ex how much you want to be with
them and how much you love them. This can firstly mean that you are safely
expressing any emotions you still have for them.
In a dream is the best
way to be able to tell someone how you feel – because it’s not real, so you
don’t hold back. In this respect, you can safely tell your ex exactly what you
think about them. It can be great for you to be able to express all the
feelings that you otherwise in real life would have held back and
repressed.
The second part of the
dream is rejection. Of course, just like if it was in real life, this can hurt.
No one wants to be rejected, not even in a dream. However, the rejection from
your ex in the dream will make sure you understand the reality of the break up
between you both.
It can be said that
whatever your ex is saying to you in the dream is yourself, telling you what to
do. You are speaking to yourself. You are essentially telling yourself what you
would probably say to a friend in this situation. If in the dream your ex is
rejecting you by saying, “it will never work, I don’t want to get back with
you” then you can see this as yourself speaking – you don’t think it will work
and you don’t want to get back with them.
It can be an oddly
empowering dream, once you know the meaning behind it.
15. If you’ve dreamt about
a recent ex…
If your breakup
happened very recently, it would be very common to have dreams that will
feature your ex-partner. Not only has it been routine for you to think about
them pretty much always, but your dreams will be trying to help you raise
questions about the breakup, your relationship, and yourself. Any of the types
of dreams mentioned above might come up.
Your subconscious mind
is trying to help you heal and move on. Once you have listened to what your
brain is trying to tell you, not only will it be easier to move forward, but
the dreams about this person will also cease to exist. Therefore signaling that
you are moving on, and so your mind will be occupied by them much less.
![](https://hernorm.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/If-you-have-dreamt-about-a-recent-ex….jpg)
Conclusion
I hope that with the
help of this article you are feeling a little better about the reasons you will
be dreaming of your ex. The truth is that these dreams have a lot less to do
with them, and a lot more to do with you or your life now.
Did this article help
you at all? If it did and you liked what you read, please let us know in the
comments. We would love to hear from you.
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