What Makes a Man Fall in Love? (10 Critical Factors)

Are you wondering what makes a man fall in love? 

Perhaps the male mind has always been a mystery to you? 

But now you’d really like to know what it is that makes them fall for a woman, because you’ve just met an amazing guy…

Well, if so, you’re in the right place… 

You can consider this your ultimate guide to the things that men need in order to fall in love with a woman. 

However, before we start, I need to tell you a very important story. 

A few years ago, my dating life was incredibly frustrating.

I could attract men, but had no idea how to make them stick around. After a few weeks, they’d get bored and leave – and I had no idea what I was doing wrong. 

It felt like it would be this way forever.

Yet, everything changed when I started reading about a little-known aspect of male psychology called the ‘Hero’s Instinct’. 

This psychological trigger appears to be held by most men – and it can have a huge impact on how they perceive the women in their lives. 

The ability to trigger this psychological tick can be the difference between being seen as a friend and an OBSESSION. It turned my love life around – and I’ve written an article explaining how it can do the same for you. 

The power and consistency of the ‘Hero’s Instinct’ really blew me away, yet so few people seem to know about it. It’s crazy.  

If you’re wondering how to make men really care about you, I’d urge you to read the story of how I discovered the ‘Hero’s Instinct’. 

There are 10 other ideas below about what a man needs to fall in love. 

1. Men need to feel accepted and appreciated

This factor needs to
come top of the list. Although they would never tell you, men need to feel
accepted and appreciated for who they are. They don’t want to feel like a
project you are working on or a problem you need to fix. They crave
appreciation for just being them. If you try to change a man, he will put his
emotional barriers up so high that it will become hard for you to get through
to him. It is as simple as just accepting who he is. When a man shares glimpses
of his inner self with you, he will feel like he has put himself in a
vulnerable position, which men rarely do, – so this is when it’s crucial to
make him feel rest assured that he will be accepted and appreciated. If a woman
makes him feel lifted high and admired when he does this, this is pure magic
for men. His heart will have made such a deep connection with you, that it can
only be amplified from thereon. 

Genuine appreciation
daily also makes a man feel valued and warm inside. Anything can trigger the
feeling of being appreciated for men, from a simple thank you, to a nice text
from you saying that his latest new business venture is inspiring. Men thrive
off appreciation, and if they feel appreciated, they feel attracted to
you. 

“Men, too, deserve to be spoiled, told they are handsome, told their efforts are appreciated, and should also be made to feel secure. If he treats you like a Queen, treat him like a King.”
– Anon.

2. Men need to feel like they make you happy

Now, this point sounds
simple. Everyone wants to make others feel happy, especially within a
relationship – that’s the common goal, of course. But, for men, this isn’t a
want, but more of a need. They need to feel like you’re genuinely touched by
the kind words they say or things they do to make you smile or laugh. If they
feel like they have the power to turn your bad day into a good one, just from a
quick phone call or hug, they will love that. Of course, if they want to make
you happy, that’s probably a substantial sign that they are falling in love
with you. However, it strengthens the attachment if the woman outwardly shows
the happiness a man makes her feel or praises how much he can make her happy.
It is almost a case of stroking men’s ego, in the nicest way possible, to say,
“Well done, you single-handedly made me a happy woman by doing that, thank
you for turning my day around!”. 

However, it is
essential to say that men are not mind-readers, and they will quickly get
annoyed if you quietly drop hints at how you want them to make you happy or if
you get upset when they don’t do something that you wanted them to. They do not
like being expected to do things. So, the simple advice to give to women is, do
not have expectations of a man. Expectations are only ever going to fall
flat. 

Unlike your
girlfriends who might be able to pick up on any emotion you feel after they’ve
been with you for 10 seconds, men are different. Men like clear communication.
So, communicate. If something makes you happy, let them know. They need to feel
like they’re doing an excellent job at making you happy. If they are bringing
joy into your life, that is a sure sign in their books that they should stick
around and see where the relationship could go.

“Men need to feel appreciated. They need to feel good about themselves in the relationship if they are going to be the person you want to be with. Ultimately, they want to make us happy, but they need a little help doing that because—as you now know—we are mysteries to them.”
– Bethenny Frankel, Author of ‘I suck at relationships, so you don’t have to’.

3. Men are attracted to women who are open to love.

As much as society
wants us to believe in the ‘chase’ and in the playful games surrounding the
idea of falling in love, men want to invest time in a woman who is open to
love. If a woman is resistant to being loved, a man will quickly lose interest.
He won’t be able to open up or show love if he is continually being shut down.
It will only lead to him feeling rejected and confused, ultimately leading to
removing himself from the situation and ending the relationship.

Men want to be with
someone who values organic love, not someone who plays games and manipulates.
Mind games are no good for anyone involved, and quite frankly if you haven’t
learnt that by now, get to know fast. Men are human – they value a genuine,
honest connection.

Men also find it
attractive when a woman knows what she wants in love and how they can be loved
and love to the best of her ability. When a man finds a woman on the same page
as him in this respect, they can revel together in the rollercoaster of falling
in love. They can explore things together, learn about each other, unearth
their true selves together, with no worry about the other person being closed
off to love. A new sense of freedom and hope are going forward in a
relationship because both people are happy to see where they both end up, and
there are no complications.

“The things that make a man fall in love really boil down to is a deep emotional connection. When you feel comfortable with being open and vulnerable with someone, you’re likely falling in love. Human beings as a whole need to feel connected to someone to let the walls down around them. We can only really feel anything, including love, when the walls are down,” says dating coach James Preece.

4. Men like to feel like men. Essentially, they appreciate women who embrace their femininity.

Don’t worry ladies. I
am not about to tell you to succumb to the role of a 1960’s housewife! You can
still be the independent woman you are and ooze femininity. The truth is that
men naturally want to feel like protectors, like ‘macho-men’ and like they are
helping a woman out. Biologically, men like to provide, to help and to fix.

Men appreciate and
feel endeared to women that ask for their help and advice. So, if you need
something fixing in your house, ask him – why not? If you have any problems
going on in your life, ask him. Simple things like those will make him feel on
top of the world, and invites him further into your life, is essential to move
forward in a lasting relationship. Men thrive off being helpful or showing
their strong skills to you.

As much as men love an
independent bad-ass woman who can accomplish anything they put their mind to
(See Point 9), they do sometimes need to feel like ‘the man’. If a woman does
absolutely everything herself, a man might feel of no use to her, or not as
masculine as he might like to. So ladies, as much as he will know you’re
independent and can do it yourself, maybe sometimes take a step back and let
him feel like the man. 

Another thing a lot of
men enjoy doing is acting chivalrously. Sometimes men like to be able to hold
doors open and carry women’s bags. This doesn’t mean you couldn’t take the bag,
or he thinks you’re too weak to, it just means that chivalry is still alive,
and men like to be chivalrous. It can make a man feel thrilled to be a
gentleman and treat you like a lady. 

5. Men need to feel sexual chemistry.

Obviously, this is
pretty much a given for both men and women. Everyone needs and wants to have
good sexual chemistry with their partner. If men feel like you’re confident in
your sexuality and that you’re ready to enjoy sex, they will thrive off that.
If a man feels like you’re confident with sex, they will feel comfortable being
able to express their fantasies and wants with you. Sex is something that needs
to exist in a relationship, to ensure the emotional bond between two people is
kept alive. So, it’s important that two people both feel sexually confident in
themselves, so that they can keep reinventing their sexual style and exploring
each other more.

Men will not feel
drawn to falling in love with someone they think lacks confidence in their own
sexuality. Even if you’re not engaging in sexual activities together or you’re
saving yourself until marriage, men will be able to pick up on your sexual
energy. So the best advice, for both men and women is to explore themselves,
make sure they are sexually happy when their alone, and then when both people
become sexual together – sparks will fly.

“Sex is more than an act of pleasure; it’s the ability to be able to feel so close to a person, so connected, so comfortable that it’s almost breathtaking to the point you feel you can’t take it. And at this moment you’re a part of them.”
― Thom Yorke

6. If a woman inspires a man, it’s a game-changer

Most of the time, men
want to feel like they inspire you, and if they feel like they’re helping you
to live fully and follow your passions, then they will feel on top of the
world. If they can help you in any way, they feel joy. However, things are a
little different if a woman inspires a man – it is a game-changer. He will feel
inspired like never before. To see his woman killing whatever she puts her mind
too will also set him on fire.

Feeling inspired by a
woman will open his eyes. He will feel empowered and ready to embrace all the
new opportunities in life, knowing she will be supporting him the whole way. As
soon as a man feels like a relationship is mutually inspirational, the
relationship will evolve to a new level. In the ideal relationship, both people
should bring out the best in each other, so if a man can feel this happening,
he will stick with that woman, and they will grow together in life and
love. 

Feeling mutually
inspired will ensure that the couple is always pushing each other and driving
forwards together to be the best they can be. This is attractive – attractive
as hell. Knowing that someone has sparked a fire in your soul to be able to
work hard and inspire you to reach for your dreams, you are in adoration for
that person. 

7. Men want to be with a woman who has faith in the relationship.

After a man surrenders
himself and opens his heart to a woman, he needs to know that she has faith.
This means faith not only in him as a person, but in the relationship as a
whole. Faith is unexplainable, and it doesn’t have much reasoning behind, but
if both people believe in a relationship, it will go from strength to
strength. 

For a relationship to
work, faith is an essential part. Both partners must share in the idea that
their love will, for whatever reason, keep flourish and be lasting. 

If a man senses that a woman is showing any signs of doubt in the relationship, the first action he will take will most likely be just to shut down. He will begin to question the relationship and doubt will enter his mind too. The uncertainty of his partner will have made him feel as if their relationship is now not a safe place for him to express himself and his emotions because it might not last. As we know from my earlier point, men need to feel like a relationship is their safe zone, a place they can show their vulnerability. If doubt creeps in, in a man’s mind, the safe area has crumbled. Worry will set in and the blossoming relationship that was once there will start to wilt. Eventually, if not spoken adequately about and resolved, this doubt will kill the relationship. Therefore, completely stopping the man from allowing the process of falling in love to take place.

8. Men search for long-term compatibility

For a man to fall in
love, they must be able to see a future. If they share common interests and
similar life aspirations with a woman, then they begin to envisage where things
could go. A minimal amount of people really ‘live in the moment’. People are
always looking towards the future, especially in relationships. They need to
see that there could be a future. Otherwise, they won’t allow themselves to
open up. If a man cannot see a future with a woman, this will stop them from
investing in the relationship.

If both people have
similar interests, then the man will feel excited because he can share his
knowledge of the subjects and have someone listen who is genuinely interested.
It also means that the pair will be able to enjoy doing similar things and make
memories doing things they both enjoy.

In terms of life aspirations,
a similar outlook is also essential. For example, it might be difficult for a
man to see a long-term relationship working out with a woman who wants to
travel full time for the rest of her life if he wants to buy a house and settle
down at home. It is important to note that I am not saying comprise doesn’t
work when it comes life goals, but initially it is a lot easier for a man to
allow himself to fall in love if he can see that the women’s vision aligns with
his.

Of course, life aspirations do change over time too. If the couple can organically grow together and are heading towards the same path, they have a much better chance of success in the relationship.

9. Men fall for women who are their real selves

I think this is one of
the most crucial points in the whole list. 

It might sound super
cliché, but men are attracted to real women — the whole package. 

Of course, when it
comes to lust, men might not be looking for the most authentic woman, but when
it comes to falling in love, they are. 

Men do not fall in
love with a façade. They fall in love with the whole package of a real woman.
So, what is a ‘real’ woman? Someone who is themselves, who has the confidence
to live their life with no regrets, someone who is open and understands
themselves and what they want. It’s also important to note that men love
independent women. It is sexy to men, to know who you indeed are and what you
want. 

When a man can see the
passion for a woman has for life, he will feel not only respect towards her but
desire for her. When both his passion and her passion for life align, the
genuinely fantastic event of falling in love occurs.

To form a lasting
relationship with anyone, sexual or not, you need to understand and connect
with the person on a deeper level. When a woman shows a man that she is real
and has vulnerable sides, it allows him to open up and share in the
vulnerability. A woman must share all the ‘bad’ parts of her, as well as the
beautiful pieces. Men need to be shown humanity and realness.

Men also feel more
attracted to those who can openly express their feelings and opinions. If you
are open and able to share with him, he will feel like he can share with you,
and that you may be able to help him with his feelings. Mostly, women are the
emotional leaders in a relationship, so it is vital for men to feel like the
woman they are falling in love with is experienced in sharing her feelings and
expressing them, stably.

The safe space for
love to blossom in is opened once a woman shows her real self. It shows him
that it is acceptable to be himself because the woman is doing the same.

This then brings trust
and confidence into the relationship and ultimately is the beginning of falling
in love. Once a man has made this deep, core connection with a woman, she will
stand out above everyone to him.

The most excellent
relationships occur when two people who are independent and know who they are,
come together to create trust and love, by tearing down the boundaries of
vulnerability and self-preservation.

10. Sometimes it is just unexplainable.

Sometimes there is
very little explanation to why things work the way they do. We are all human,
and sometimes connection happens between two people, and love sprouts from
there. Men feel immense (even if they try to hide it) and they get just as
wrapped up in relationships and fall head over heels when falling in love, as
women do. If two people meet and feel the right energy between them, it can
just go from there. If two people are destined to be together, they will.

On the other hand,
even if every box is ticked and everything is going right, sometimes love
between two people doesn’t blossom. Everything might align between you both,
but your souls might not be ready for each other. That is ok, and that
shouldn’t dishearten you. There is someone out there for everyone, and
sometimes it just is not meant to be.

You will know when the
right person has come along. Irrespective of any outside influences, when you
fall in love with the one, it will be effortless and magical. It sometimes is,
just unexplainable. 

“Love is an unexplainable force that is more powerful than anything. If you are lucky enough to have found it, it will scare you, keep you awake, yet give you peace and let you rest all at the same time”
― Sensei Surett.

If you still want to
hear a little more about needs that men have, to be able to fall in love.
Please watch this video by the fantastic Mathew Boggs (Best-Selling Author,
Relationship and Dating Coach) – ‘7 Needs Men Have to Fall in Love with
You’. 

Conclusion

I hope I was able to
deconstruct and explain some of the factors that make men fall in love. I was
inspired to write this because I think it is vital to not only speak about
women’s feelings and passions but also to educate ourselves about a man’s
romantic mind. Otherwise, how are we supposed to be informed and understand the
processes that happen to us when we are involved with men?

The saying goes ‘Men
are from Mars and Women are from Venus’ and Venus is great, but surely, we need
to know about the inner workings of Mars too?

So, did this list help
you to understand a little more about how men fall in love? If it did and you
liked what you read, please let us know in the comments and share it with
anyone you feel needs to see this.

If you want to share
any personal stories about your experiences with men falling in love, or other
factors that you think make men fall in love, please let us know. 

Of course, for any
male readers out there, we would love to hear from you on this topic too.