9 Signs He Loves You But Is Scared to Fall For You (And Why)

Does his cold behavior leave you constantly wondering whether he’s serious about your relationship?

Perhaps it feels like you’re wasting the prime years of your life on a man that isn’t ready to surrender his heart to you?

It’s a difficult situation, because a lot of men will hide their true feelings for fear of being hurt. The guide below will help you understand whether that’s how your partner feels.

However, before we jump into this guide, it’s really important that you read the next few sentences carefully. 

In the past, I was stuck in several relationships with guys who weren’t ready to commit to me. I’d tell myself they were scared to show their real emotions, but the truth was they just weren’t that into me. 

Thankfully, I managed to turn this around, and it all started when I learned about a powerful aspect of male psychology.

It’s called the ‘Hero’s Instinct’ – and it appears as if every man holds onto this way of thinking.

When you learn how to trigger it, it can transform the way he feels about you romantically. Instead of seeing you as a short-term fling, he may begin to OBSESS over you (click to read my personal story and learn more). 

It’s simple to learn how to activate this psychology, and a man’s feelings for you tend to dramatically escalate once you know how.

So, it’s probably in your best interests to read how I discovered the Hero’s Instinct. 

Of course, he may still be scared to express these feelings and it’s up to you to help him through this fear. The guide below explains how to spot that this is happening, and what you can do about it.

You Catch Him Staring

One of the most clear-cut signs that he loves you is when you catch him staring at you. Whether you’re sitting on the sofa watching TV, or doing some work on your laptop, when he watches you carrying out mundane tasks – or when he thinks you won’t notice – it’s clear that he has very strong feelings for you and just can’t keep his eyes off you.

Additionally, the way he looks at you when you’re having a conversation might change too and he might start holding your eye contact just a little longer than he ever did before, as if he’s looking deep into your eyes. Once your man starts doing this, it’s a clear sign he loves you and feels deeply connected to you on a number of levels.

He’s Hot and Cold

When the guy you’re dating starts acting hot or cold, it can leave you wondering whether he’s losing interest and what you might have done wrong – it can be a stressful time.

Where he once tried to make plans to see you, take you on thoughtful dates and call you in between seeing each other, he suddenly starts to pull back, not texting you as often, cancelling plans and being distant with you when you’re together. However, once you’ve plucked up the courage to broach the subject with him, he suddenly becomes keen again, increasing the intensity of your dates and communication.

It’s confusing stuff.

Often, if your man loves you but is scared to fall from you, he can be very hot and cold as he tries to battle with his emotions, leading him to toy around with yours. It may not be a conscious act, but it can be frustrating and put a strain on your relationship.

But if he’s afraid of falling for you, he’ll try and do anything he can to push you away, before natural instinct takes over and he continues to show you affection as he did before. Whether he’s been hurt in the past, or he’s not one hundred percent invested in your relationship, if your man has suddenly started running hot and cold, but is showing you all of the signs that he loves you, then he might just be scared of falling.

However, there are also a number of different reasons why he might be acting hot and cold with you, such as:

• Things are moving too quickly
• He’s insecure about the relationship
• He’s lost interest in you
• He’s emotionally unavailable

He Remembers the Things You Say

One of the most common complaints from women about their partners is that they don’t listen to – or remember – what they say. So if your man always remembers the conversations you have and picks up on the little things you say, it might just be a sign that he loves you.

So whether you told him about the after-work drinks you’re going to and he asks you how it went, or you mentioned a new bar you wanted to check out and he takes you there, when he’s listening intently to everything you say, you know it must be love.

He Won’t Talk About His Feelings

Even if you know he loves you, if he won’t talk about his feelings with you, it might be a sign that he’s scared to fall in love with you.

A man who loves a woman is vulnerable, but a man who tells a woman he’s fallen for her is even more vulnerable, so by not talking about his feelings he’s able to keep his guard up and try to avoid getting hurt in the future.

Additionally, some men are just more closed off than others when it comes to talking about their feelings – especially when it’s about a woman they’re in love with, so if your boyfriend is just a little more emotionally unavailable than you’re used to, then you might want to try and get him to open up and talk about his feelings a little more.

Some of the best ways to get your man to open up to you include:

• Read his body language
• Tell him you’re there for him
• Open up to him and encourage him to do the same to you
• Be someone he can trust
• Don’t force it

A man who won’t talk about his emotions is one to be approached with caution – you don’t want to scare him by forcing him to talk about the way he’s feeling. Instead, you need to let him know that you’re there for him to talk to when he’s ready and you’ll have him well on his way to falling head over heels for you.

He Tells All His Friends About You

You know it’s love when all of his friends know about you. A man who’s not invested in a relationship will do his absolute best to keep you away from his friends and family. However, if he’s keen to show you off to all his friends – and they’ve already heard a lot about you – then you can rest assured that he’s in love.

A man who tells his friends about the woman he’s dating is one who’s clearly quite infatuated. Not only does it mean that he can’t get his mind off you and wants to talk about you all the time, but it can also indicate that he wants to brag about you to those closest to him, so they know just how much he likes you.

He’s Protective Over You

If you ignite his hero instinct and turn him into Superman, then it’s a clear-cut sign that he’s in love with you. Whether he takes your side and offers you advice when you’ve had an argument with one of your friends, or he always makes sure you cross the road safely when you’re together – a man who makes you feel safe and looked after is definitely one who’s in love.

Although it’s been proven that men are naturally more protective over women due to their increased levels of testosterone, the natural instinct to protect women is heightened when he’s in love and has true feelings for that woman. So if you notice that your boyfriend has always got your back, watches out for danger and makes sure you’re okay, then it must be love.

He’s Nervous Around You

No matter how confident he is around strangers, his friends and family, if a man loves you, you might notice him feeling a little more nervous around you than he is around other people.

From wanting to constantly impress you and make sure he’s on top form, to trying to keep you interested – when a man is in love and he feels there’s a lot to lose, it can make him feel nervous and stressed-out, but in the best way possible.

So whether he frequently loses his train of thought, goes quiet around you when you first meet up, or is always stressing about what he looks like when he’s around you, then it’s probably because he’s in love with you.

But that’s not all – if he loves you but is scared to fall for you, then this will add to his nerves and turn him into a nervous wreck when he’s around you. Not only will he be thinking about how much he likes you when he’s with you, but he’ll also be worried about just how much he likes you, making him feel nervous and jittery.

Reasons Why He Might Be Scared to Fall for You

Before you get offended about why your man is scared to fall for you, you need to establish the reasons why and try to work through it together.

There are a number of different reasons why he might be afraid of falling, some of which could be more detrimental to your relationship than others. So if you have a suspicion that he’s scared to fall for you, then these might be the reasons why.

He’s Been Hurt in the Past

Whether you’re a man or a woman, if you’ve been hurt in the past, it’s common to put a guard up and push someone away – even if you love them. Being cheated on or hurt by someone who you thought loved you can be a deeply dramatic experience and can affect your future relationships for years to come.

So if you know your boyfriend has had a bad experience in the past, you need to talk it through with him if he’s comfortable to talk about it and establish what happened. Not only will this help him to open up to you, but it will also give you the chance to assure him that you’ll never hurt him in the same way.

Often, one of the best things you can do for someone who’s been hurt in the past is to make them feel safe and secure in the relationship. So once you know what’s been bothering from his past, you’ll be able to make him feel confident in your relationship and alleviate any of his worries, helping him to let himself fall for you.

If you’re known for being a bit of an ice queen, or you’re just very hard to read, it can be difficult for the man in your life to establish your level of interest and work out how strong your feelings are for him.

If he’s unable to decipher whether or not his feelings are reciprocated, and he’s worried that he might like you more than you like him, then it might cause him to pull back and become scared about falling for you. After all, nobody wants to be the one with stronger feelings for their partner than they have for them.

If you feel like this might be why he’s afraid to fall, you need to make a conscious effort to make him know that the feeling is mutual and that you do, in fact, like him just as much as he likes you.

There are a few different ways you can show how much you like him. From buying him little gifts that remind you of him, to showing him signs of affection when he least expects it – it’s often the little gestures that’ll make him realise just how much you like him and hopefully alleviate his concerns to make him fall head over heels in no time.

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