Are you wondering whether the man in your life is a good fit for a long-term relationship?
Perhaps he’s a great guy who really likes you, but that’s not all it takes for you to be compatible for a longer period?
Sometimes, it’s a case of meeting the right person at the wrong time. But how are you supposed to know when that happens?
The guide below reveals eight signs that this is the case.
However, before we dive into this guide, it’s important you read the following sentences carefully.
Recently, I discovered a little-known aspect of male psychology, which has a huge impact on the affection he feels towards women.
It’s called the ‘Hero’s Instinct’ – a primal instinct which appears to be held by most men.
When activated, it releases intense feelings of power, purpose and self-worth within a man. These are the emotions all men want to feel – and triggering them makes him feel a lot closer to you.
Suddenly, the potential hurdles in a relationship become a lot easier to overcome.
I know because I tried this for myself! Whenever I activated a man’s ‘Hero’s Instinct’, it felt like he’d move mountains just to spend time with me. If you want to learn how it works, click to read my personal story.
The crazy thing about this is: so few people seem to know about it. This is your chance to make him feel like no other woman can.
If you’re experiencing relationship difficulties, I urge you to learn more about how the ‘Hero’s Instinct’ works. This transformed my love life, and it could do the same for you.
Unless, perhaps the timing doesn’t work out. Read on to discover if that’s the situation you’re in.
1. Your long-term
goals do not align.
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So you think that you
have found the perfect person to spend the rest of your life with, and then you
come to realize that both of your long term goals don’t align. For example, you
might want children and they couldn’t think of anything worse. Another example
could be that you want to travel the world, and they will never leave their
hometown. It doesn’t always have to be physical goals, but it could also just
be the mindset of the person. If you are a real ‘go-getter’ and they would like
to just stay in the same job and live in the same apartment for the rest of
their life, you won’t be compatible together.
Even though you feel
like they are the right person for you, you can’t imagine changing your life
plans to be with them. You will know if your aspirations don’t align if you
when you hear about their plans you wince at the idea of them. This shows you
that you wouldn’t be able to cope with living your life as they do.
Things like this obviously keep people apart, because we will only let ourselves get into relationships with people, we can genuinely imagine a future with.
2. One of you might
have just come out of a long-term relationship recently.
This point can be from
either side. If you have just come out of a long-term relationship, it can feel
awful to know that you have just met someone that is perfect for you, but you
can’t be with them, because you need to mourn the loss of your relationship and
previous partner.
However, rather than
looking at this in a negative light, it is actually a really mature decision to
not move on too quickly and allow yourself time to grieve. If you had decided
to get straight into a new relationship, it could end badly if you had not
actually fully moved on.
On the other hand, if you are single, it might be difficult for you to know that your ‘right’ counterpart has just come out of a serious or long-term relationship. When people come out of long term or serious relationships, it can be very difficult and genuinely unhealthy to move on too quickly. So, if they are still not over it, it might hurt but you will need to accept the fact and allow them time to move on, however they see fit.
I’d recommend staying
away from this person, as you don’t want to feel like their rebound as it could
mess your emotions around too much.
3. You or this person
is going to be leaving town soon.
Once again, this can
happen to either of you. It can be heartbreaking if you know that you and this
person really click but they will be leaving town soon. Perhaps they are going
traveling, they are moving to a different city or state or their job has posted
them to the other side of the world.
The same might apply
to you. Maybe a few weeks before you met you signed a contract to go and work
in London or something similar. It can be a kick in the teeth knowing that you
have to go even though you just met the ideal person for you.
However, if this is
the situation for you or him, you will both probably act selfishly and follow
through with what you had planned. This will especially be the case if you
haven’t known each other for a long time.
4. There is too much
of a big work commitment right now for one of you.
It doesn’t really
matter what the job is, if someone is more committed to their career than their
relationships, then it will never work. Perhaps you have just scored the big
break you have always been looking for doing something you love, and you won’t
give the opportunity up for anything. You will be more focused on seizing the
opportunity than getting into a serious relationship.
On the other hand,
maybe he is starting his own business. He will be more concerned with working
late hours and going to meetings than laying his love on you.
So, if one of you has
a big commitment to your work right now, your relationship is not going to
flourish under the circumstances.
5. You both live too
far away from each other.
You might have met
this person and have fallen for them, only to realize they live on the other
side of the country, or even worse, in another country. Long-distance
relationships can work, but it depends how much effort you both put into it. If
you have only just met, or are in the early stages of a relationship, it isn’t
likely that either of you will be willing to get yourselves in a long-distance
relationship.
Also, if you are
craving a very close relationship and this person lives far away, then it won’t
meet up to your needs or standards, therefore failing.
6. The age gap between
the two of you is too big.
You might have met
someone that you think is right for you, but you haven’t been what they have
been through. For example, they might be a lot older than you or vice versa.
Age doesn’t usually matter too much, and the majority of the time it isn’t a
problem if two people really love each other. Age doesn’t add up to maturity
either, so even if you were dating someone a lot younger but they were very
mature then it could be a great match.
The difficulty occurs
when the two people want different things in life at that moment in time. A
younger person might want to have a more laid-back relationship whereas someone
older might want something more serious that will withstand time. It can also
happen that you might fall for someone who has more life experience than you –
they might have children and have already been married and divorced.
The only thing you
want in the world might be to have children and to get married, but this person
doesn’t. You might think how much of a shame it was that you didn’t meet them
before all of that, but you didn’t. It can feel really unfair if the person
seems perfect apart from their age and their expectations of a relationship.
7. They might simply
not want a relationship now.
What can really suck
is if the person you like and think is your ideal match simply does not want to
be in a relationship with anyone. This is probably because they have been hurt
in the past and they don’t quite trust anyone with their heart again. Not right
now anyway.
You might be ready to
jump into a relationship with them, and they might like you too, but they will
decline your offer telling you it is simply, “the wrong time” for them. This
can be heartbreaking, but you can’t change their mind on what they want in the
present moment. You need to respect their decisions.
8. They might already
have someone.
You could have an
amazing spark with someone who is already taken. They might also be giving you
the eyes. You might have even spoken about it together. However, he has told
you that he is going to stay in the relationship that he has now. You are not
going to cheat, of course, but it feels unfair that you have met someone who is
so good for you. You could be questioning why you didn’t meet this person
before they got snapped up by someone else.
There really is
nothing you can do in this situation; their relationship status is stopping you
from being together.
What should you do if
you think you have met the right person at the wrong time?
You could strive to
make it work.
If you are really in
love with someone, nothing should stop you, not even the fact that it seems you
have both met each other at the wrong time.
Whether it be the long
distance that is in the way of you both or the fact that the age gap seems too
big. If you are truly in love with this person and you don’t think anyone will
ever compare, tell them and try to make it work.
However, before you do
this it might be a good idea to ask yourself some serious questions. These
questions should be:
- Do you think the relationship would succeed if you went through with it?
- Do you think that no one else would ever suffice?
- Is it worth the risk?
Now you have thought
about these questions and hopefully answered them, it is time to go and speak
to that special someone. If you are determined to make it work, speak to them
and see what they think. Do they want to take a leap of faith with you?
It’s important to say that if the fact that they are with someone is what is standing between you, do not strive to make it work. You do not want to cheat, encourage someone to cheat or destroy a relationship. If there are smaller issues like long-distance or work commitments, then you can try to make it work.
Stop seeing them
completely.
If after reading this
article you have realized that you have met the right person at the wrong time
and you are not willing to take a risk and do anything about it, it might be a
good idea to stop seeing them completely.
If you are never going
to be in a relationship with them, then what is the point of sticking around?
You are better to stop seeing them completely. If they are a friend or they are
present in your life a lot of time, it might be a good idea to speak to them
and explain why you can’t keep seeing them around.
This is one hundred
percent the best advice to give you if what is stopping you from being together
is the fact that they are in a relationship with someone else. Also, if the
issue is that you know your relationship expectations are not the same and will
never be the same, this is the best advice too.
Start to see them
anyway.
This bit of advice
only applies to the issue of work commitments, the fact they will be leaving
town soon or the fact that your long-term goals do not align. The question you
can ask yourself here is, “Is it better to be hurt but have loved than to have
never loved at all?”
If you really want to
start dating this person, and they really want to start seeing you too, then
you can always do it. However, it is important that before you start to get
intimate with each other or form an emotional attachment to them, you discuss
the fact that this is just a short-term thing and neither of you can say that
it will last.
As long as you are
both on the same page then there shouldn’t be any confusion going forward.
However, you do need
to be aware that your feelings will probably (definitely) get hurt. I will use
a personal anecdote to explain this. I started to date a man who I knew was
leaving for the other side of the world in the upcoming months. We fell more
and more for each other, and then when he went to leave, it broke my heart.
This is a classic example of “right person, wrong time” and what happens when
you continue to see each other anyway. I don’t regret the relationship, and I’m
sure that if you are really into this person then you won’t either. However, it
does hurt.
Have one night of pure
passion together.
Once again, this does
not apply if the issue is that he is together with someone else.
If you both know that
you can’t be together because it is the wrong timing, but you still want each
other, you could always decide to have one night of passion together. You could
really overdo it, go on a beautiful date and then have a super sexually charged
night of passion together. This is obviously not going to fix anything going
forwards, but it might help that you have both had each other and enjoyed that
together.
Move forward and move
on.
If timing is stopping
you from being with someone then that is probably the world’s way of telling
you that you shouldn’t be together for some reason. So, what are you doing
wasting your time and thoughts on this person? Stop your contact with them and
move forward in your life. You can either move forward and continue to be a
single bad-ass, or you can start searching for love elsewhere.
Someone out there is
the right person for you, and you will meet them at the right time, no doubt
about it. You deserve a love that doesn’t hold you back or make you change
yourself or your situation in life. So, stop fantasizing about what you could
never have with this person, and start opening your eyes to what you could have
with other people.
Conclusion
I really hope that
this article will help you if you are trying to decide whether you have met the
right person at the wrong time or not. It can be really hard finding out that
this is the case but don’t get too down about it. People come and go in all of
our lives, all the time. One will stay forever.
Did this article help
you at all? If it did and you liked what you read, please let us know in the
comments. We would love to hear from you
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