When making this decision, don’t focus solely on that one behavior (the silent treatment) because that would be a huge mistake. It’s better to see the big picture—that his PA personality style is highly impervious to change and will cause you years of grief. Passive-aggressive people such as him express their hostility in a covert way, whether it’s giving the silent treatment, using sarcasm, criticizing, or withholding praise. Their behaviors may include procrastinating, arriving late, and happily agreeing to do things when they have no intention of following through on them. They often do these hostile acts with a smile on their faces and an agreeable attitude on the surface, throwing those around them off balance.
Don’t ask: “Can I tolerate someone who gives me the silent treatment?” Ask instead: “Can I make a happy life with someone who can’t communicate openly and effectively?” If you’re being smart and honest, the answer would be an unequivocal “no!” Good communication is essential to any relationship, whether it’s in business, with friends, with relatives and, most certainly, in romance.
We all are forced to deal with passive-aggressive folks throughout our lives. Most of us, though, do our darnedest to limit our interactions with them. We’ve learned the hard way to be resolute or they’ll take advantage and drive us nutty. For example, I had a passive-aggressive friend who consistently arrived late for lunch and dinner dates. After a few of these instances, I firmly said: “I’ll wait 15 minutes for you and then I’m gone!” I followed through with my threat and from then on her behavior miraculously vanished!
Few of us would willingly enter a relationship with a passive-aggressive individual, let alone a romantic one. Therefore, it’s important that you look at yourself and figure out why you find such a person desirable. This may lead you into therapy and, with that, will come a whole new understanding of yourself and your childhood. That knowledge will serve you well as you move forward to new loves.