11 Things Cheaters Always Say When Confronted

Do you suspect your partner is cheating, but have no way of proving it? 

Perhaps this leads to endless arguments where you accuse him of messing around, and he denies it?

Are you exhausted with feelings of betrayal, anger and hopelessness?

If so, you need to take steps to prove whether your partner has been unfaithful or not. 

You’re always set to lose if you confront a cheater without evidence of their wrongdoing.

He will endlessly deny it, and you’ll have no way to know whether he’s lying. 

For the sake of your own mental health, your best best is to search for proof that he is cheating. 

Thankfully, there is a powerful online tool available that can gather all the evidence needed to catch a cheater (click here to check it out).   

With just a few of your partner’s details, it can run a discreet yet extensive background check on him. You’ll discover who he’s been frequently contacting, as well as receiving a wealth of information about the messaging apps and dating apps he’s downloaded. 

And that’s just scratching the surface… 

Click the link to learn more about how this online background checker works.

It’s fast, it’s easy to use and it’ll reveal the truth about his behavior. 

For further help, check out our list of things that cheaters always say when confronted.

1. They will deny it.

This is one of the
most common things cheaters will do. They will deny it, no matter how much proof
you have that he has been unfaithful to you. Unless of course you physically
caught him in the act, then he can’t deny that one, can he?

As well as deny any of
the allegations you have thrown towards them, a common thing they might say is
that you’re overthinking the situation because you are insecure. Now, this
situation has nothing to do with your insecurity, so you might be slightly
confused as to why he is bringing this up.

He is trying to put
the focus on you, even though you’re not the one who caused this confrontation
to happen in the first place. He is deflecting his blame on to you. He might go
on the attack, saying things like “Why don’t you trust me?”. This can
be a sign that he is trying to conceal something and is feeling guilty about it.

Gaslighting

Another thing a
cheater might do is try to tell you that you are downright crazy, or you are
making things up. They will make you feel vulnerable, and like you’re in the
wrong for accusing them of such a thing. They want you to doubt yourself so
that they can get away with it. This tactic is called Gaslighting. They will
wind you up so far that you don’t know what the truth is and what is
false. 

Gaslighting is
considered a form of emotional abuse, so if they are doing this to you, you are
best to get as far away from them as possible. You don’t want to be lured into
that, because it will keep damaging you for a very long time.

It’s so important to
realize that denying it or making you question yourself is downright
manipulation, and you don’t have to stand for it. You know what he has done or
is doing. You can trust your judgment. You are not in the wrong; he is.

2. They will tell you
that they did it because they weren’t getting enough action with you, so they
had no choice but to look elsewhere for sex.

This is a really common excuse for our partners to cheat on us when confronted. Once again, they are putting the blame on to you and trying to act like it was your fault they cheated. They will act like it’s your fault that they weren’t feeling sexually fulfilled, and that’s why they had to go elsewhere.

If recently there
hasn’t been much sex in your relationship, your partner will most definitely
use this excuse. He might tell you that he feels pushed away by you physically,
or his needs aren’t being met sufficiently.

It is not your fault
at all that he has cheated on you, even if your sex life wasn’t exactly great.
There are many ways that he could have communicated with you, and you could
have probably got it right back on track. Lots of couples go through ups and
downs when it comes to their sexual connection, and they work through it just
fine.

But no, he decided to
go and sleep with someone else, and the only person he can blame for that is
himself. There are always ways around not cheating. Cheating on someone is an
intentional choice.

3. They will claim
they’re not happy in your relationship. 

This is another tactic
he will use to deflect the blame from himself. He will try to put the
responsibility not only on you but on your relationship. But let’s stop and
think about this, lots of people have tough times in their relationships, and
not everyone turns to cheating.

To put it very simply,
if he wasn’t happy in your relationship, he didn’t need to have sex with
someone else to confirm this. He could have either spoken to you about it and
worked on it, or he could’ve broken up with you. There was no reason for him to
cheat.

If they claim that
this is the reason they were unfaithful to you, they are also trying to tell
you that they want to end the relationship. Of course, this is the best thing
to do, but you still need to make him understand that what he did behind your
back was unacceptable, and you’re not ending the relationship for any other
reason but the fact that he cheated on you.

4. They will say it
was a one-time thing and will never happen again.

Even if he has been
honest with you and owned up to cheating if he uses the line, “it was just
once and won’t happen again,” I wouldn’t trust that. He is trying to pass
off what happened as a one-time mistake, rather than fully owning up to the
fact he did something unacceptable and irresponsible, that ended up with you
being hurt. Even if it was just a one-time thing, can he expect you to move on
from it? No, and you shouldn’t have to.

It is also statically
proven that once a person cheats on their partner, they are more likely to do
it again. The saying “once a cheat, always a cheat” is ringing true
here. However, it’s important to note that maybe it really was a one-time thing
and won’t happen again. But it’s for you to decide, and in your control about
how you choose to move forward.

If you really do
believe him, you might want to ask yourself a few questions. Can you actually
trust that it was only a one-time thing if he didn’t tell you straight away?
Even if it was a one-time thing, could you now be intimate with him knowing
fine well he has been close with another woman behind your back?

He has cleared his
guilty conscious by opening up to you, but has he told you the whole truth?

5. He might try to
blame her.

He might admit to
cheating on you but then will continue to say that he was innocent in the
situation and that he was seduced by the woman. This is a really sly excuse to
cheat on someone. He is trying to push the blame on to the woman he had an
affair with, and that is not fair. As we all well know, it takes two to tango!

As much as he can try
to show you or tell you that he was seduced by her, you must remember that he
wouldn’t have been drawn to her if he didn’t want to be. He obviously wanted
her, just as much as she wanted him; otherwise, it would never have happened.
Whether she was the instigator of their affair or not, it’s important to
remember that he didn’t stop it.

This is also a perfect
way for him to try and push the blame on to someone else. He is trying to get
you on his team, so you go against the woman instead. Firstly, you never know
what the other woman was told by him – maybe he told her he was single.
Secondly, he might have been the one pushing to have an affair, not her. So,
don’t agree with him and put all your anger and upset on to her. She might have
been totally blindsided, the same way you were.

6. They will tell you
it was ‘just’ sex. 

If they tell you “it meant nothing to me, it was just sex” this is really horrible. Firstly because he is talking about it like it’s nothing, but also because this remark makes it sound like sex isn’t essential to him – so why did he ruin your relationship over something he doesn’t highly regard? It doesn’t make sense.

It feels awful to know
that he thought that little of you that he will cheat on you to ‘just have
sex.’ It can feel like your self-worth has just taken a sucker punch. It’s
ultimately degrading.

It’s important to note
that even though he is trying to pass it off as nothing, you still do need to
have some kind of connection with someone to sleep with them.

Obviously, you do not have to have a deep emotional connection to have sex with someone. If you did, there would be a lot less one-night stands! But you do still need to feel a physical relationship with someone. Even if he has ‘just’ slept with someone, he will still have needed to get turned on by her, and there is clearly an intimate connection and attraction there; otherwise, it wouldn’t have worked.

This is probably one
of the most ridiculous things a cheater could say because it doesn’t even try
to take away from the fact that he still cheated. He is just being really
blatant about it, and almost like it’s not a big deal.

If you still feel
sexually attracted to him, this will probably start to disappear very quickly
after hearing he has had sex with someone else. To physically see and hear your
partner speaking about having sex with someone else will not only make you wildly
upset, but it will also make you feel a little repulsed. You will no longer
want to have his hands all over your body because you know they have been all
over another woman’s too.

7. They might say
“we didn’t even have sex.”

Cheating does not always
have to be of a sexual nature, and emotional cheating is just as real. This can
include anything from speaking to someone regularly about all the things you
should be confiding in your partner with to telling someone how much you are
falling in love with them.

So if your man tries
to pass it off because there was no sexual interaction, this is still
unacceptable. Also, how can you be sure he is telling you the truth? He is only
just telling you the truth about an emotional affair from you.

An emotional, romantic
connection between two people usually is always going to include or turn in to
a sexual one too. So even if he promises that they didn’t do anything, you can
be sure that if you had left it a little longer before confronting him, he
would probably have slept with her.

Also, if you were to
move forward with him, would you not be concerned that he has feelings for
another woman? Emotional affairs quite often do not end as soon as the people
are caught. People can’t just switch emotions off. So in this way, it is much
more complicated than if your partner has had a one night stand with someone.

When it comes to
people having romantic connections outside of their relationship, it’s really
not fair on either the partner or the woman he is having the affair with. Both
women are being played, and quite frankly would both be better off without him.

8. They might say,
“I didn’t want to hurt you.”

How exactly did he not
thinking that cheating on you wasn’t going to hurt you? Because he never
thought you would find out.

It most likely is true
that he didn’t want to hurt you; the majority of people don’t want to
intentionally hurt people they are close to. However, he knew that what he was
doing would hurt you if you found out, so he decided to hide it from you. The
only reason he is playing the nice guy now is probably because he regrets being
caught out. He doesn’t regret the actual act of unfaithfulness.

You just have to think
about the fact he was not sorry before you found out. But now he can actually
see the pain he is causing you from you finding out, and he feels terrible. If
he was feeling bad before you found out, he would’ve either never cheated on
you in the first place, or stopped the affair dead in its tracks.

9. The accused might turn
in to the accuser.

In some cases, he
might come for you. He might flip the whole confrontation on its head and start
accusing you of cheating. Once again, this is a tactic used by his guilty
conscience to try and deflect the blame on to you.

You might have started
the conversation by telling him you know he has cheated on you, and you want to
know why. However, you might realize that the conversation has dramatically
turned in to him putting allegations forward to you that you are cheating on
him.

He does not want the
blame to be on him. If he can get you to admit to anything inappropriate you
have done throughout your relationship, then you are both standing equal.
However, of course, you would never cheat, and therefore he can’t drag you down
with him.

You might have
actually gained no information about his promiscuity, but just been shouted out
and asked about your own. This can be really frustrating when you have to prove
you have been faithful, to the very person who has not. 

The best advice in this
situation is to tell him you no longer want to continue with the conversation,
and if he feels the need to accuse you of these things when he knows your
innocent, he is being immature, and his guilt is obviously raging inside of
him. Cheaters will grasp at anything to ensure they are not to blame for the
hurt caused.

10. They will tell you
that they are going to change.

After they have been
honest with you and come clean about having cheated on you, they will most
likely apologize and try to gain your forgiveness. Typically, this comes with a
few common themes attached. So watch out for them.

The first one is that
they will tell you this will never happen again. As I spoke about in point 4,
it’s actually statistically proven that people who cheat will be more prone to
cheating in the future. So, take his words with a pinch of salt.

Obviously, this is not
always the case, and perhaps he will stick with you, and never be unfaithful
again. But you really need to ask yourself the personal question of, “Can
I trust him?”.

The second thing they
will tell you is that they are going to change. So suddenly they’re going to
turn a new leaf and become a different person? You don’t want a different
person, you just wanted the person you loved, when they were faithful to you.

If they talk about
changing themselves, this is a sure sign that they are trying to claw ways back
into your good books, by making you hope they will come out the other side of
this confrontation a new and improved partner. However, you can be in love or
trust someone that you hope will get better. You love and trust someone because
you know they are right, and you feel secure in your relationship with them.

11. How do you move on after the confrontation?

Confrontations can be
horrible, at the best of times, so having to confront your partner about his
cheating will not be a walk in the park. However, you need to give yourself a
pat on the back for bringing the situation to a head and finding out if your
suspicions are right.

How you move on is
entirely up to you. Some relationships actually do survive after
unfaithfulness. 

However, these ten
things listed above are generic things cheaters will say when they are
confronted. So, if these are similar to some of his answers when you talk to him,
my advice would be to leave him behind.

If someone is
genuinely sorry for cheating, they usually will tell you straight away and be
completely honest. Nothing about what they say will sound cliché or like they
are trying to push blame on you. They will typically accept full responsibility
and probably give you time to process what they have done. 

That, to me, is the
kind of person you would want to work through this kind of situation with.

FAQs

Conclusion

I really hope that
this article helped you if you do except that your partner is cheating on you
and you are going to confront him. 

Although what you are
going through right now is a horrible experience, as soon as you face him
everything will be out in the open, and his reaction will help you decide if
you want to try and save the relationship or if you’re going out on your
own. 

The final thing I can
say is that you deserve someone who makes you feel secure and loved in your
relationship, and I know you will find that.

Did this article help
you at all? If it did and you liked what you read, please let us know in the
comments. We would love to hear from you.