What To Do When He Pulls Away (7 Steps To Get Him Back)

Is your man beginning to lose interest in you?

Are you worried about losing him? 

Are you perhaps looking for ways to regain his affection?

If so, read on for our extensive guide on what to do when a man pulls away. 

However, before we dive into this guide, I need you to read the following sentences carefully. 

When a man pulls away like this, he will often begin to show interest in other women. 

In many cases, he may be willing to start flirting or even getting physical with another woman, before he is prepared to bail on your relationship. 

Personally, I think this is unacceptable behavior, which is why I wanted to share this online background checker tool with you. 

This discreet tool can produce a detailed report of his recent communications, so you know if he’s been up to no good. 

You can discover who he’s been frequently contacting, what smartphone apps he’s downloaded, what phone numbers he has registered, and more. 

Put simply, if he has been playing around behind your back, this tool will make it obvious. 

Then, you’ll be better informed to decide whether your relationship is worth fighting for. 

If it is, our guide on what to do a man pulls away from you will be extremely helpful. 

Don’t Stress.


The first thing you have to do when you notice that he’s pulling away from you and your relationship is to leave the stress out of it. You don’t need the worry in your life and it won’t help him to feel any better any sooner. Understand that this isn’t immediately a sign that your relationship is ending, there are all sorts of reasons why he might be acting a little distant and all of them are more likely to be the case than your worst fears. Your paranoid mind will be telling you it’s because he doesn’t like you anymore, but there are so many other more likely reasons. 

When a person feels
stressed they tend to remove themselves from their social lives and if they
aren’t big talkers then they’ll probably become quite closed off. If your
boyfriend isn’t the type to always talk about his feelings straight away then
it wouldn’t a big surprise to hear that he’s pulling away to work through some
of his own personal issues – none of which have anything to do with you. He
could be concerned by his own family matters, or health, work or school. 

Remember that everyone
goes through troubles and difficulties that we’d rather navigate alone, you’ve
probably had your own in the past too. Don’t jump to the worst conclusions just
yet, you’ll only stress yourself out at a time when you would benefit more from
staying level-headed. 

Give Him Space.

It’s important that if
he needs to think, you absolutely have to let him. Put it this way, if you
don’t let him think it through you’re more likely to lose him than ever. He
needs clarity in his mind and if you cloud him with panic and endless questions
you’ll just be giving him cause to end the relationship. If you overwhelm him
with your concerns when he’s trying to process things that don’t include you,
you’ll probably only work your way to becoming one of his troubles anyway.
Don’t dig yourself a hole you can’t get out of. 

Let him call the shots,
even if that means letting him go off-grid for a little while. If he wants to
stay in contact, that’s great! If he wants to reduce it, roll with it. Let him
have the time to explore his own thoughts. After a few days of silence or
limited contact, ask him how he is. After some genuine space and respect for
how he feels, he might be more open to the idea of discussing what’s been going
on with him.

If you give him the space to work through his issues, you might also find that there is the added benefit of making him miss you. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, use that. When he isn’t being overwhelmed with your worries and demands to know how he feels, he might start to realize he doesn’t like to be without you and choose to bring you back, closer than ever.

Take a look at this
video which will teach you a little more about why and how to make him miss

How To Give Him Space So That He Misses You And Comes Back | VixenDaily Love Advice

Take The Time To Focus On You.

Relationships can be
all-consuming and leave little time to pursue your own dreams and goals. Take
this little time out as an opportunity to develop your own skills and discover
yourself. It’s good to work on your own personality and traits and maybe learn
some new things about yourself, new things which could even improve your relationship.
You never know, you might discover a key to helping him feel better, or learn
how to be more supportive. 

It’s never attractive to
be clingy or overbearing and you’re likely to be pushing him further away if
you overwhelm him or demand more than he can give at the time. What is
attractive is being aloof and relaxed towards the situation. Often, we find we
want what we can’t have, so try not to give it all to him on a platter. If he
thinks you’ll do anything for him, then he’ll feel comfortable staying away for
as long as he wants without any concern for your feelings. Show him that you’re
calm and collected and he’ll be begging for you to come back 

Distract yourself with
hobbies and friends and your own work or school. Improve yourself before you
sacrifice everything for him, you’re a whole person and you don’t need to be
waiting on his every word. Show yourself that you can be your best self with or
without him and in turn, you’ll feel less afraid at the idea that he might
leave. It’s a cycle – if you stay calm, you’ll have nothing to worry about in
the first place. 

Don’t Check His Social Media.

Stay away from checking
up on him, it’s an unhealthy route to take and will never lead to anywhere
good. We all know how hard it can be to go without talking to the person you
love – wondering about what they might be up to, how they might be feeling and
whether they’re still interested in you at all. Take it from me, it’s never
going to be helpful to see what they’re posting online. 

We have this secret hope
that we see that they’re miserable, posting sad photos of the rain or writing
out quotes about heart-break, but the reality is that nobody posts things like
that – we only want to publicize the best of ourselves. When you check his
accounts, you’ll probably see pictures of him hanging out with his friends or
statuses about frivolous things that have nothing to do with you. This will
inevitably make you feel upset and probably cause you to wonder about your
importance to him. Steer clear of this online world altogether, no one posts
about the truth, you’ll only start to feel paranoid.

As painful as it might
seem, you also ought to consider life without him. If this really is the end of
your time together, you would be doing yourself a favor by breaking the habit
of a lifetime – social media stalking – before it’s too late. After all, you
don’t want to be checking up on him if your relationship ends. You owe it
yourself to accept the unknown and trust him to navigate this situation alone
without doing anything you might need to check up on. 

Take a look at this
hilarious video about stalking your ex on social media!

5 Stages Every Girl Goes Through When Stalking Her Ex On Social Media

Be Open-Minded.

When it comes to the
time when he might finally want to share his thoughts and feelings with you and
repair the damage done, it’s important that you stay open-minded about what he
has to say. If he finally wants to be honest with you, the last thing you
should do is shut him down on account of not liking what he has to say. Chances
are, he knew you wouldn’t like it – that’s why he kept his problems such a
secret. Let him know from the outset that you will accept anything he has to
say, so he knows he can be as honest as he needs without fear of hurting you or
causing more problems. 

Let him come to you and
make him feel secure in the knowledge that you are his partner and supporter,
not someone who is going to blame him or judge him. If his concerns are with
something other than you, let him use you as a shoulder to cry on. Sandwich. Do
you best to see this situation from his point of view and while you might not
agree with his choices or you find yourself siding with someone else muddle up
in the conflict, make sure he knows that you support and respect him. After
all, you do only want him to be happy, right? If something is getting him down
or causing him stress, you should want that to be resolved in the best way

Make sure you listen
before anything else. Let him flow and speak his mind without your own opinions
preventing him from getting everything out. It can be tempting to interrupt
him, especially if you don’t like what he has to say or you think he’s getting
it wrong, but this will only make him frustrated and unhappy to talk to

Decide What You’re Willing To Put Up With.

Although this is his
problem and he’s pulling away from you, you ought to have a think about what it
is that you’re willing to stand for and what is a line crossed for you. You’ll
allow him to call the shots and make his own choices, but only to an extent.
There is no need to sacrifice your own standards or sanity just to let him work
out his own problems – especially if he isn’t even sharing them with you. 

Evaluate your priorities and what you require of him. Are you okay with long term radio silence or do you have a time limit on what you can accept? A lot of us wouldn’t be okay with our boyfriends disappearing for “thinking” time for more than a few days. It’s okay to demand higher standards, it’s a simple question of respect. If he respects you and your feelings, he won’t leave you in the lurch for too long. 

Especially if he insists
he wants to stay together, he has to open up sooner rather than later. No one
wants to be in a relationship with someone who is sulking and shutting other
people out. You don’t deserve to left out in the cold for long. If he continues
to want to pull away but doesn’t want you to leave him, you have to consider
whether he might just be acting selfishly. You deserve to feel loved and wanted
deeply and if your boyfriend isn’t showing this, then you should be wondering
if he’s right for you. It may feel mean, especially if he’s dealing with some
personal troubles, but you can’t allow it to hurt your own health. If you
aren’t getting what you deserve, even after waiting it out and giving him
everything he might want, you should start to think about cutting your

Reignite The Flame.

If you’ve made it
through the rough patch and you’ve resolved the problems you were facing,
you’re probably now going to be wondering how to put the pieces back together
and get back to where you were. It’s not going to be easy, but it is possible.
If your love is deep and committed, there’s nothing you can’t bounce back from.
As long as the issue is completely behind you, you’re totally free to move
forward and start a new chapter together. 

Try to let this new
phase be natural and evolve on its own. It’s understandable that we’d want to
throw ourselves into the relationship and try to force each other to feel the
same as you did before things got a little difficult, but that’s not how it
works in the real world. There will be residual issues of trust or insecurity
lingering and if you overlook it you’ll probably only be forced to face them
when it’s too late. 

Take things back to the
beginning and date again. Don’t expect to feel in love and “normal” again in an
instant, love grows over time with other parts like trust and security. Show
each other that you’re devoted still and you’ll be back where you want to be in
no time. Be patient, it’ll happen. 

Watch this quick video
with tips and stages to take back your relationship and reignite the spark!

7 Ways to Bring The Spark Back In A Relationship


If you liked this list
or found it helpful in your own situation, let us know! Leave a comment!

It’s so tough to know
what to do when the person you like, or even love, starts to pull away becomes
cold or distant. Chances are, they’re only dealing with their own personal
issues and their behavior has nothing to do with you or your relationship – but
it’s hard to convince yourself of this. Our first instinct is to take it
personally and fear for the end of your romance. p

It’s so important to
keep yourself cool and calm when you’re working through your boyfriend pulling
away. There’s nothing more unsettling to a person who is trying to create space
than being overwhelmed with questions and demands. Give him the time to come
back to you and you won’t be sorry – whatever the outcome. Know that you
deserve to be treated well and you don’t need to wait around for him. Set your
boundaries and hold him to high standards, if he doesn’t want to share his
feelings for long periods at a time and he falls right off the grid, remember
that you deserve better. 

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