Are you confused about
what a ‘no strings attached’ relationship really means? Perhaps you have been
offered an NSA relationship by a man you want to sleep with, but you’re not
sure what this type of relationship will mean for you exactly.
In this article, I am
going to not only explain what a ‘no strings attached’ relationship consists
of, but also what the risks and benefits are of having one. There is a lot to
think about, even if it might seem simple. Sex is more complicated than we all
think. So, let’s start unraveling what it is all about, and then you can decide
if you want to jump into one or hold back.
What is the basis of a
‘No Strings Attached’ Relationship?
An NSA relationship
works on the basis that two people decide to have a purely sexual relationship
with each other. There can’t be any feelings towards the other person, and if
you speak about anything in depth it must be in relation to sex and what you want
from each other and your relationship in terms of pleasure.
You are not in the relationship to get to know the other person on an emotional level. It’s called “no strings attached” because quite literally you won’t anything attaching you together. You are not committed to the other person in any way shape or form except the fact you will be having sex together. have You are both in the relationship to fulfill each other’s sexual needs, as well as your own.
Is a ‘No Strings
Attached’ relationship monogamous?
Most NSA relationships
are open relationships. This means that you won’t be monogamous together. You
can both sleep around with whoever you like and it won’t be classed as being
unfaithful. At the end of the day, you won’t have feelings for the other person
so it shouldn’t matter if you are both sleeping with other people too.
However, it can get
very messy if one person starts to feel romantically towards the other person
in the NSA relationship and they are not being monogamous. But, let’s not jump
ahead too quickly – the cons of an NSA relationship will be discussed later on
in the article.
Who should you get
into a ‘No Strings Attached’ relationship with?
The general rule is
that you shouldn’t get into an NSA relationship with your friends. Although
some people can cope and enjoy having sex with their friends, it might ruin the
platonic friendship that you had before. Having a ‘Friends with Benefits’
situation is very different from an NSA relationship. In a ‘Friends with
Benefits’ relationship, you are still keeping a good relationship with your
friend, but you’re just adding sex into the mix. In an NSA relationship, there
is no relationship other than a sexual one.
It is a lot easier to
start an NSA relationship with someone you don’t really care for, but
obviously, you still need to find them attractive. Sexual interactions with
friends can be difficult because you care for each other. You might start to
care a little too much for your friend if you start to have sex regularly with
them. A one-time hook-up with a friend is normally not a problem but jumping
into constant sex with them is a whole different kettle of fish. Feelings can
develop and friendships can be ruined.
It’s probably best to
find someone that shares a mutual sexual attraction with you. You don’t need to
know them very well, and that’s probably for the best. At the end of the day,
in an NSA relationship, you aren’t going to know them any better mentally, just
physically. You are much less likely to start developing feelings for someone
that you don’t really know.
You need to protect
yourself in a ‘No Strings Attached’ relationship.
We will be speaking later on about the need to emotionally protect yourself in this type of relationship. However, I want to bring it your attention that you need to protect yourself from STI’s if you are going to be in an NSA relationship.
Normally, it would be
totally fine to not use condoms if you are in a long term and monogamous
relationship. However, in an NSA relationship, you never know how many people
the other person is sleeping with. You need to always use condoms, and it might
also be a good idea to be on some form of birth control medication, just in
case the condom splits.
Another good idea is
to get a sexual health test quite frequently, just to protect yourself and keep
your peace of mind. You can still have fun and stay protected.
The benefits of
getting into a ‘No Strings Attached’ relationship.
1. You can explore
what makes you feel good.
If you are wondering
about what really makes you feel good, which positions you prefer and even what
you don’t like when you are having sex, an NSA relationship can help with this.
In an NSA relationship, you can freely discover your sexuality and what works
Of course, you can
also do this by sleeping with multiple people. However, it can be more useful
to explore your sexuality with one person because you can try lots of different
and great things with someone, rather than having mediocre sex with lots of
You can even
experiment with sex toys, fetishes and play out any fantasies you have. Because
you aren’t trying to impress this person or have an emotional relationship with
them, you won’t really care if they judge you. So, it’s time to think about
what you have always wanted to do in the bedroom that makes you feel shy and
naughty – and do it.
2. You have no
emotional attachment to the person in the relationship.
It might be really
refreshing for you to know that you can have sex with this person pretty much
whenever you want, but you don’t have to stick around afterward. You don’t need
to take on their stresses or problems. You don’t need to sit and comfort them
or make their worries your own. You don’t need to hang out with their friends
or meet their families. You have no loyalty to this person, which can feel like
you have great freedom.
You are completely
independent of that person, except when you are enjoying your steamy sessions
in the bedroom. So, revel in it. You are one of the lucky ones who is single and
is still getting consistent action when you want it.
3. You have no loyalty
to this person. Play the field.
As I mentioned
earlier, you have no loyalty to this person. In an NSA relationship, you have
complete freedom to sleep with as many other people as you want. So, if you
want to play the field a little bit, do it. Enjoy this time in your life. You
essentially can have as much sex as you like, with as many people.
Of course, not
everyone wants to do this. However, my advice would be to take the opportunity
to fulfill all of your sexual urges with whoever you want to. You should take
advantage of the fact that there is no one telling you what to do or wanting
you to be faithful towards them.
You can also keep open
to seeing other people. So, if you are looking for something a little more
emotionally serious, you can pursue this too and then leave the NSA whenever
you feel like you need to.
4. You can have fun
It’s important to note that I am not saying people don’t have fun in long-term monogamous relationships – of course, they do, otherwise, no one would ever enter one. However, it is a different kind of fun when you are having sex with someone constantly but casually.
You can let your hair
down. You can really and fully enjoy sex. When we are in long-term
relationships with one person, sex is very much put to the back of the mind.
Life takes over and suddenly picking up the kids from school and working late
nights takes over from our sexual desires.
In addition to this,
in NSA relationships, you don’t have to deal with what I like to call, “the
smelly socks of life”. This essentially means that you don’t have to deal with
all the crappy day-to-day things that come with living with someone and being
in a relationship. You don’t need to even engage your brain about what the
other person will be having for dinner or if they need to do the laundry. It’s
not your problem, and that can be a blessing in itself.
Because you are not
focused on their day to day life, you can really enjoy sex with them. You are
seeing the positive parts of them and that’s great. You don’t have to think
about anything else but having amazing sex with them.
For women, it can give
us sexual freedom and fulfillment that we have always wanted but always been
judged for. Celebrate the fact that you are having great sex with someone you
don’t need to be official with.
The risks of having a
‘No Strings Attached’ relationship.
1. One of you might
develop feelings for the other person.
This is definitely the
biggest risk when it comes to having a ‘No Strings Attached’ relationship. It
is only natural that being intimate with someone can lead to having feelings
for them. You will have most likely decided to go into an NSA relationship with
someone that you are deeply physically attracted to, and as this is one of the
reasons why we start to fall in love with people, it could happen that you will
develop feelings for this person.
This can be especially
hard if your feelings towards them are unrequited. However, you can’t blame the
other person if they do not reciprocate your feelings. You did decide to go
into an NSA relationship with them, and you knew that there would be no further
emotional relationship with them.
It can also happen the
other way around. The man you are sleeping with might start feeling things
towards you. If you do reciprocate his feelings, this could be really great and
there might be potential for a further relationship with each other. However,
if you don’t feel the same way towards this man, it can be hard for both of
You will need to let
him down gently and remind him that you both entered into this NSA relationship
with no expectations of anything other than good sex with each other. I’m sure
he will just be caught up in lust and will be confusing it with love, so he
shouldn’t get too hurt about you rejecting him.
2. Jealousy could
enter the relationship, from either side.
Either of you or both
of you could feel jealous about the other person sleeping with others.
Obviously, if you start to develop feelings for the other person then you are
going to start feeling jealous of them seeing or sleeping with other people.
However, even if you
don’t necessarily have feelings towards the other person, you might just feel
jealous of the time that they are spending with others rather than spending it
pleasing you. It can be really difficult if you feel jealous because you won’t
be able to tell them. You decided to enter the relationship knowing that it was
not going to be monogamous, and they would be sleeping with other people. You
are also allowed to sleep with others, so it doesn’t really make sense for you
to seem jealous.
If you do tell
them, you could risk freaking them out and ending up with no NSA relationship
3. The ‘No Strings Attached’
relationship could be holding you both back from getting into more serious and
Of course, I assume
that you are not looking for a committed and serious relationship, hence the
reason that you are either in an NSA or looking to get into one. However, NSA
relationships can surprisingly last a long time, and if you are spending a lot
of time invested in one person, you might be shutting yourself off to other and
more romantic opportunities with other people.
You might realize that
as time goes on you would have actually preferred to be in a more serious and
monogamous relationship by now, and your NSA relationship was holding you back.
4. You could put less
value on real relationships going forward.
Being in an NSA
relationship and being in a serious monogamous relationship are two very
different things. If you decide that you want to move on and try to date other
people more seriously, you might realize that you put less respect and care
into your relationships.
‘No Strings Attached’
relationships make it easy to not think about the other person’s feelings.
Therefore, this might follow you through to a more serious relationship and you
might come across very selfish and perhaps a little too independent. It could
lead to your future partner feeling undervalued and unloved.
An NSA relationship is
an open relationship, and therefore you have had the opportunity to sleep with
whoever you have wanted, while still being in a sexual relationship with one
person in particular. This could have bad effects on future relationships, and
you might find yourself looking at other people and finding them attractive.
There is no harm in doing this, everyone does. The difference is that because
previously you could take action and make a move on them, it might be difficult
for you to stop yourself from cheating on your partner.
I’m not saying this is
an excuse to cheat, but it could be difficult for you to control yourself
because you didn’t have to before.
5. The other person
could enter a more serious relationship with someone else and bring your ‘No
Strings Attached’ relationship to an end.
This is pretty much
inevitable. Unless you both fall head over heels for each other and start a
serious relationship together, one of you is going to move on and find someone
If your NSA
relationship ends because of this reason, you could look at it positively and
be glad that it didn’t end because one of you fell madly in love with the other
or there wasn’t a huge row over jealousy. However, it can be difficult to
adjust after losing your designated sex partner, and you might feel like you’ve
gone through a breakup, even if you didn’t feel anything emotionally towards
It might also make you
question what you are doing with your life and relationships – is it possibly
time for you to start looking for something a little bit more serious?
6. You have a higher
chance of catching an STI.
In a No Strings
Attached’ relationship you are obviously more likely to catch some kind of STI
than if you were in a monogamous relationship. You might both be sleeping with
multiple people, and you might be open with each other about it. In fact, one
of the rules within an NSA relationship is that you shouldn’t discuss each
other’s sexual partners, but we will have a look at the rules later.
The negative about not
speaking about each other’s sexual partners is that you will never know if he
is sleeping with someone else with an STI. You can obviously use condoms to
avoid the risk of getting an STI, and I highly recommend that. However, we all
know that sometimes if we are too excited, we don’t take a lot of precautions.
The rules of being in
a ‘No Strings Attached’ relationship.
Even though you might
be very intimate with this person, it is best to refrain from speaking too much
to them about anything other than sex. If you do, you could start to feel a
deeper connection with them which could lead to unwanted feelings for both of
2. Do not speak or ask
about who the other person is sleeping with.
It’s a bad idea to ask
who the other person is sleeping with. It could spark some jealousy within you,
and quite frankly it is none of your business. You have both agreed to just
have sex with each other, you have no right to start asking about the other
details of their life.
3. If one of you has
feelings, be honest and end the relationship straight away.
The moment that one of
you starts to feel something other than sexual attraction towards the other
person, it needs to be said and the relationship needs to be stopped. If
nothing is stopped, this could lead to complications with feelings and
jealously further down the road.
4. Don’t text a lot.
In an NSA
relationship, the only thing you should really be texting about is when and
where you are going to have sex with each other. Try to keep texting them to a
minimum, or you might start expecting them to talk with you a lot. Then if they
don’t, jealously could kick in.
5. Always use
As mentioned earlier,
there is a higher risk of getting an STI in a polyamorous relationship, so make
sure you are always using protection, no matter how excited you get.
I hope this article
has helped you if you are wondering if a ‘No Strings Attached’ relationship is
a good idea for you and you think you have what it takes. If you think you do,
I wish you all the best – go and have some fun. Just be safe and play by the
relationship rules to avoid getting hurt.
If you liked what you
read and this article helped at all, please let us know in the comments. We
would love to hear from you.
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