Have you ever wondered
how a man will treat you when you get into a romantic relationship with him, or
perhaps if your long-term relationship is going to be successful and there will
be respect and love forever? If you have thought about this, a lot of people
might think that the answers might lie with how he treats his mother. However,
it really does depend on a lot of variables – was his mother kind to him as a
child or was his dad awful to his mother while he was growing up?
There are so many things to look at and think about when answering this question but don’t worry, I have already done the background work for you, so you can simply read and soak up knowledge. To start with, we need to look at the different types of relationships men have with their mothers, and then we can see if it affects the way they act in romantic relationships.
So, first take a look
below at the five types of relationships I have mentioned, and how they could
affect the man going forward in the world of love.
1. If a man has a close relationship with his mother.
If your man, or man to
be, has a close relationship with his mother this is obviously a really good
sign. If his mother has always loved him, showed him affection and supported
him then he will be able to understand how great that feels, and he will want
to pass that feeling on to others. So, he will be more open to loving and being
affectionate in his romantic relationships – which is good news for you.
If he always felt
loved and secure in a relationship with his mother whilst he was growing up, it
will also mean that he will be less likely to look for a ‘mom’. He will not
crave affection and respect, whereas he might have if he didn’t feel secure as
a child. He will also probably be less likely to be unfaithful because he knows
how great a loving relationship can be, he wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize
it. This is also obviously good news for you. So, so far so good. If he cherishes
his mother, he will probably cherish you.
However, the only
small problem that could occur if your man is close to his mother is that he
could be a little too close. He might put her on a pedestal, and therefore she
might always be the most important woman in his life. As sweet as this sounds,
it can be really difficult for you to feel like you are number one if you are
actually second best.
2. If his mother has
always done everything for him.
Even if your man has a great relationship with his mother, it might actually affect your relationship with him in a negative way, if his mother has always done everything for him. When he gets into a relationship with you, he might expect you to act in the same way that his mother does. The difficult one with this is that you are probably not going to notice until you move in together. When you are living together, you might realize that he expects you to do the housework, to cook for him and do his laundry. From then on, you might find yourself using the words “I am not your mother, do it yourself”.
It might actually be
difficult for him to understand that you aren’t going to do everything for him
if his mom has done everything for him throughout his whole life. He is
actually not to blame in this situation, it is to do with the way he was
brought up. However, this doesn’t mean that you should stand for it. He will
have to adapt to the fact that he needs to stand on his own two feet sometimes.
3. If a man does not have a close relationship with his mother.
Sometimes, even if our
parents are good people, we perhaps just don’t feel a particularly strong bond
with them, so let’s have a look at this situation and how it can affect men
moving into the world of love. Firstly, he might not have a close relationship
with his mother for many reasons. He could have grown up with his father taking
on the more predominant parent role, he could just not feel the closeness
between them, or his mother might just not have been a very affectionate person
when he was growing up. It’s important to say that we are not talking about him
having a bad mother, we will discuss that later on.
So, if a man isn’t
close to his mum, for whatever reason, it will mean that he is not used to
female affection or love coming his way. So, this kind of man might shy away
from female affection and romantic relationships, because he is scared of the
unknown. They will be unsure how to act or trust in a woman’s love because they
never have done before.
It could go the other
way, and this kind of man could experience feminine connection for the first
time and go crazy for it. He might turn into a really promiscuous person
because he has never felt the love from a woman before, he is trying to explore
something he doesn’t know and doesn’t understand.
4. If a man was abused
by his mother.
A man that has been
abused by his mother when he was younger, will quite obviously experience
trauma from this, and it might be really hard for him to overcome it. Whether
it be physical or emotional abuse, this will not only mess up his mind, but it
will also affect his relationships with other women down the line.
Men that have been
abused by his mother could feel a lot of hate towards women because they have
been led to believe that every woman is like their mother. They are led to
believe this because as children, we look up to our parents so much and they
are our ultimate role models. So, he could genuinely believe that the way his
mother treated him is the way that all women treat men. This could mean that
moving forward in life he could be a misogynist.
This type of person will probably always try to put women down, especially those that he is closest to. So, when they are in a relationship, they could create a toxic environment for their partner. Unless this is dealt with, they will go through life trying to get their own back at women.
5. If a man was
neglected by his mother.
This kind of situation
could occur if his mother had to work away a lot when he was growing up, his
parents broke up and he lived with his partner or his mother just abandoned
him. Another explanation for it could be if his mother struggled with some kind
of addiction, especially substance abuse – this is more common than you might
This kind of man is
the one that is always looking for someone to reassure him of their love. He
will not feel confident in himself or his relationship, because he is scared
that he might be neglected or left. This man might come off as needy or
obsessive, but it’s just that his brain is trying to protect him from what
So, is it true that
how a man treats his mother is how he will treat you?
I would have to say
that it is a really good indicator of how a man will treat you. If he is kind
and caring towards his mother, he will probably be kind and caring towards you.
If he hates his mother, he might try and destroy you emotionally to make up for
his previous experiences with women.
However, there are so
many exceptions and so you can’t just go off what you read, you need to think
about the person and what their specific experience with their mother is like.
For example, there are men out there who love their mothers more than anything
but would physically abuse you. There are men out there who have had a
turbulent childhood with their mothers and will do their best by you and try to
love and care for you as best they can.
It all depends on the
person and how they have dealt with things, and how they have reacted. But, I
would say that generally speaking, how a man treats his mother does translate
pretty well into how he will treat you.
I really hope this
article has helped you figure out maybe why your man acts the way he does
because of his relationship with his mother, and that it is generally (not all
the time) true that men will treat you similarly to how they treat their
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